You'd Be Home
by secretpen28
Summary: Uncertainty had always been a longtime companion of mine. Words wavered. Thoughts trickled. Choices caught. That is until I met Jade West. Jori. Enjoy!
1. Certain Uncertainty

**A/N: Hi, everyone. Posting this story without an inkling of knowing how active the Victorious community is on this site. I am a frequent writer in the Pretty Little Liars section, but with Victorious being posted on Netflix a few weeks ago, I was inspired by some of the characters. **

**Don't want to make this too long. Unsure if this will stand alone or turn into a full story. Let me know your thoughts.**

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Uncertainty had always been a longtime companion of mine. Words wavered between the whimper of my lips. Thoughts trickled through the recesses of my mind trying to toss their way silently forward. Choices caught themselves between the creases of my palms climbing callously up my extremities to become actions, inherently cautious in nature.

Whether a simple manifestation of my anxiety or a symptom of something bigger, I consistently struggled to speak my mind. To come to a decision and stick with it resolutely. To step forward with conviction. That is until I met Jade West.

There was something about her candor that felt effortless. She spoke her mind without hesitation, as though the thought had originated on the tip of her tongue. She came off as arrogant, catty, and some might even say vile. But through my eyes, she held a power I never knew could be obtained. Her decisiveness was a mystery to me.

It made me want her even more.

I always felt as though our relationship could fade as quickly as the flame was lit. Ignited with a piece of flint growing dull. Kindled between two hearts of pine which, once sturdy, could soon go up in smoke. Illuminated by each other's eyes and the sparks inspired by our touch.

At first, my understanding of Jade was through whispers. Hushed undertones of apprehension regarding the façade she draped over herself for protection. People's voices tended to quiver when recalling the way she fought through the halls. They clutched to her black clothing, army boots, and resting bitch face to make a determination of her interior.

But no one spoke of her beauty. No one prepared me for the perplexing nature of her piercing eyes. How they seemingly flowed from blue to green to hazel to grey and back again depending on the amount of light shining within her. No one conveyed the energy encased in her mesmerizing smile. No one noted how her long black hair framed her face in layers, hiding a small scar just on the underside of her jaw bone by her chin.

And no one told me that there was a chance I would fall in love. Before my thoughts, words, or actions could tell me otherwise.

* * *

She plopped down in the seat next to me in Geometry without a second thought that first day of school. Though we knew each other through acquaintances, she remained someone in my life that I had never formally been introduced to. As I glanced beside me, I noticed the slight irritation from a new piercing on her left eyebrow before I entirely took in that she was seated next to me.

"Can I help you?" she muttered, catching my eye.

I jumped at her tone, snapping my head back forward to retract all previous eye contact "Nope! Not at all."

She sighed next to me and reached across her body with her right hand extended for me to take hold, "We've never actually met, have we?"

Reaching for her palm, I smiled nervously as we regained eye contact, "Mhm. I'm friends with Andre, Robbie, and –"

"Cat," she finished, still gripping her hand in mine, "Jade. Tori, right?"

Nodding more than the average human being, I agreed, "Yeah, Vega. Tori Vega."

I watched as her lips mumbled my last name under her breath before meeting my eyes once more, "Well, nice to meet you." Her face slowly turned from a smile into impenetrable confusion, "Hey, Tori? You there?"

My eyes snapped back to reality as I realized that I was still shaking her hand, trapping our introduction between us in hopes that the moment wouldn't fade, "Right! Right. So sorry. Must be first day jitters, you know?" I gasped, pulling my hand away, wiping it onto my blue jeans as she chuckled next to me before I, for some unknown reason, kept talking, "You too. You know, meeting you? Nice. It was nice."

She blushed, smiling onto her desk, "Whatever you say, Vega. I'm trying that whole uh, what's the phrase…" Pausing to hold her hands in air quotes, she continued, "New year, new me bullshit. How am I doing so far? You intimidated? Ready to run away?"

My eyes still held wide open from embarrassment, I continued stumbling over my words, "Well, I guess all of the above…"

"Fuck." She stomped her boot while pulling out her notebook and pen for class.

I reached out my hand for her upper arm before I could catch myself, "No, it's not that." My words recaptured her eyes. I decided right then that the nuanced subtlety behind them would be a feeling I would forever seek, "I'm just surprised." A long pause lingered again between us, "I mean, you're beautif –"

I coughed, seizing the end of the word from mid-air in hopes that it had yet to reach her ears. She quickly raised her eyebrows in recognition, "Oh, flattered. Are you always this forward?"

"Only when I'm nervous." My hands withdrew into my lap, searching around the classroom for any indication that class was about to begin. "I think that class might be about to –"

"We have three minutes… humor me?" Her eyes drooped as her mouth turned to a pout, shooting heartache straight through my chest. "You should give me the chance to make you nervous more often then."

"Wait. Really?"

"Sure." she shrugged, "We're friends with the same people for a reason. Let's grab sushi sometime. My treat."

"Is this another part of your 'New Year, New Me' plan?"

She tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear, highlighting the blue streaks hiding in the layers, "Does my answer determine yours?"

"No, I just –"

She laughed out loud, sending shivers down my spine, "I'm fucking with you, Vega." She chucked again, "You're cute when you're nervous. But no, you were never a part of my plan."

Silence fell between us as the bell rang and continued until a pause within our teacher's introduction.

"That was a yes from you?" Jade whispered. And though her question would indicate that I needed to reply, she answered for me, "Good. It's a date, and I'll pick you up Friday at 7."

Our conversations each morning that week were brief but hovered over the barrier between new friendship and flirtation. It made it difficult to read how our date would go. So when I opened the door Friday evening to find Jade dressed in a short black dress paired with a black belt and chunky bracelet, I audibly gasped.

"You like it; I hoped you would." She nodded confidently though her hands clutched together in front of her indicated some nerves. "You ready to go? Do I need to meet anyone to make sure they know I'm not a serial killer or anything?" She joked before processing the look on my face, "I'm not!" Her hands raised up from their clutched position, "Sorry."

"Something tells me that _you_ might be the nervous one tonight, Jade." I replied, leaning forward to kiss her cheek in reassurance, "And no, we're fine. We can save introductions for the second date, okay?"

She nodded as I grasped her hand, closing the door behind me, "You look great tonight, by the way, Vega."

"I appreciate it, really. I'm excited." I replied as we reached the front of the house.

"Question." She paused on the sidewalk, "Would you be pissed if I didn't open the door and shit for you? I'm all for chivalry, but I don't want you to think that I think you can't take care of yourself. I'd hate to start tonight off on a bad – "

"Jade?" I asked, stepping back toward her, "Whatever you feel like doing tonight, that's fine with me. I would never turn down generosity."

"Noted." She paused, walking to my door to open it.

Being acquaintances before this week, it made our first date go by incredibly smoothly. We learned about the other's audition process to get into Hollywood Arts, family life, future plans, and present day without any lapses. Jade was boldly enigmatic one-on-one. She enjoyed telling just enough to be revealing without giving too much of herself away. I quickly accepted the fact there would always be more for me to learn about her, attempting to center myself in the fact that I was sitting across from the first person that had ever taken my breath away.

As dinner was wrapping up, she asked, "So, anything else that's been circling your thoughts that you haven't been able to ask or do?" Her smirk said it all. But when she mentioned it, my thoughts immediately hopped to a task I had completely forgotten about.

"Actually, yeah! Do you want to go to the bathroom?"

"Now?!" she asked, puzzled by my enthusiasm, "Can I pay the check first?"

"Of course, yeah. Meet me there?" I stood, allowing my hand to linger across her back as I walked behind her.

"Sure. Be right there!"

A few minutes later, Jade half jogged into the restroom, groaning at the sight she found, "What the fuck is this?" She laughed, walking toward the triage station I had laid out on the bathroom counter.

"So, I brought all of this stuff because, Jade, your piercing is not looking good." Jade stepped backward, gasping as I kept speaking, "I didn't want to bring it up at school."

"But the Nozu bathroom is the right place?" she shook her head, a smile appearing from ear to ear.

"Well, look. I brought everything I needed in my purse. I disinfected the counter, laid out the gauze, and have everything ready. Come and sit, please." I nodded emphatically, patting the counter to usher her to sit on the marble countertop.

"As long as they don't try to kick us out…"

"With you by my side, I'd like to see them try," I stated confidently, even though this entire date still had me shaking. "So, what are you using to treat this? It always looks just a little more irritated than it should."

"This is so embarrassing, Tori."

"Oh, shush. Answer the question."

"Rubbing alcohol? Is something wrong with that?" she asked accusatorily.

"I guess not?" I shrugged, "I've never had a piercing."

"Then why the fuck are you the one giving me advice?"

Putting a glove onto my left hand, I paused to place my right hand on her cheek, "You don't have to listen. I thought you may want to accept my generosity as a thank you for this evening."

I watched as the touch of my hand made every concern of hers fade, "No. It's fine." She smiled.

"Great! I did some research and asked my sister, and from what I can tell, this is the best cure-all." I stated while I began to mix water and salt into a shot glass. "Distilled water. Sea salt. Cleaned shot glass. Stir vigorously. Now, put your eyebrow and forehead over the top of this."

"What?"

"Just listen, please!" I exclaimed as I ushered her forehead over the 1-ounce container. "Okay, push against it to create a seal, and then sit up for me."

She sat up with a frustrated smirk tracing her lips, "How do I look?"

"Stunning. As you have the entire evening. More importantly, how does it feel?"

She winced briefly, "Oh, it stings."

"That means it's working. Now, we wait until the stinging stops." I paused, moving the remaining triage items to my left to make room for myself on the bathroom counter.

Once situated, I placed my head on her shoulder as she began talking, "You do this on all your dates, Vega?"

"I saved this, especially for you."

"Goody." She facetiously replied, before continuing, "It feels better. Can I take this stupid shot glass off my forehead now?"

"One second, let me get step two ready!"

"Step Two?" she openly sighed.

"It's the last one, promise." I turned away to gather a Q-Tip with some rubbing alcohol on the tip before facing her once more, "Okay, you can remove it now."

Leaning back up to me with saltwater dripping down the left side of her face, I snatched gauze from behind me to catch it on her cheek, "Sorry about that." I collected the remnants of water as I lingered closely near my date, working my way back up toward her eye. I delicately used the Q-Tip to clean around the edges of the piercing.

"Thank you for doing this. I'm not sure anyone else in my life would have." Her voice faded, leaving me an opening that I chose not to walk through tonight.

"Of course. Expect it from now on." I reassured, making direct eye contact with her. Using my purple latex gloves, I lightly pulled at the skin around her eye to ensure all possible irritation had been cleared.

She looked away from me as I remained inches from her face, inspecting every aspect of her piercing, "You know I meant what I said on Monday, Tori…"

Leaning away for the first time, I hopped off the counter to collect all of the remnants from my medical services and placed them in the trash behind us. I only began speaking while in the process of removing one of my gloves, "And what was that?"

"You. I mean, this was never a part of any plan."

Her fingers laced with my free hand as she finished her sentence, pulling me back closer to her. The force caused me to look up at her emerald eyes, which speckled with gold under the florescent lighting. My thoughts scattered. I opened my mouth to form words, but the small bite she gave her lower lip sent them all out of focus. Attempting to connect my spiraling thoughts and words with actions, I wracked my brain for my next step as she settled the curve my hips in between her legs. Was I meant to reply right now? Would it be okay to place my other latex glove against her cheek to provide her with more affection? Was I supposed to kiss her? The gears shifted in my head, attempting to make sense of all the input incoming from three inches in front of me.

As her lips cascaded into mine, all of my thoughts and words and actions left whatever space they were occupying. I may have been unsure of everything existing between us. But fortunately for me, certainty had always been a longtime companion of hers.

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**A/N: Would love to hear your thoughts and any input you may have on this becoming a story or not. I can't wait to see how this is received. **

**Can't wait to become a part of a new community on this site. Thanks for your support. If interested, please go check out some of my other stuff. I wrote on this site back when I was 15/16 and came back about 2 years ago, so there are plenty of cringy stories on my page mixed in with my more recent stuff. Enjoy. **

**If you enjoyed, please Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along. **

**Until next time,**

**\- secretpen28**


	2. Unbreakable Heaven

**A/N: Thanks so much for the warm welcome! Loved seeing that you enjoyed the story thus far. I assume that this will become a generalized early relationship story. I tend to not write dramatic or unbelievable stories, so expect everyday drama and mush. Enjoy. **

**Chapter Title: "Cruel Summer" - Taylor Swift "It's cool./That's what I tell 'em/No rules _in breakable heaven./_But ooh, whoa oh./It's a cruel summer/with you." (Love the play on words unbreakable and in breakable have, so even though it's not exact, roll with it) 3**

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Maybe it was the desperate look in her eyes right before our lips made contact. Or perhaps the way she drew her chin barely downward to meet together with increased force as her nose found its way into my laugh lines. Or it could have been the way she tucked her ankles around my calves as our lips parted, trying to close every centimeter of unused space between us. Maybe it was the brief hum she sighed against me before I felt her tongue trace my bottom lip. Or potentially the way her right thumb slowly found its way inches above the hem of my pants to draw circles against my stomach.

But kissing Jade was irresistible. And as I felt her pulling away, my lips followed after hers in hopes that the tenderness behind her touch would never fade.

"That was to say thank you." She whispered softly before adjusting herself to slip off of the bathroom countertop in Nozu.

I scoffed in disbelief at the chills still coursing through my veins, "Well then, feel free to say thank you as often as you'd like."

She kissed my cheek as her right hand moved from my shoulder down my forearm before holding my hand, "Unfortunately, I do need to get you home. I'm sure my mom's waiting for me."

I barely pouted, "Not even time for another thank you kiss outside of my house."

Though she grinned at my joke, I could tell that her smile didn't fully connect. It faded too quickly, and her eyes did not light up in the same way they had earlier in the evening. Pulling her phone from her pocket, she pressed the power button to check the time, shaking her head as she read her home screen.

"I wish. But no, I'm out later than I told them I would be. That'll probably cost me."

"Okay…" I grumbled in confusion as she tenderly pulled me through the restaurant and out the front door.

When considering the different aspects of our date, I had pictured Jade to be a vicious driver. Someone who took being cut off as their own personal vendetta. But I was surprised at how relaxed she appeared behind the wheel, as though she had been driving long before legally allowed. And despite noting the contentedness settling in her cheeks, it was still apparent that something was on her mind throughout the ride home. Our eye contact was sparse but sent her into a brief smile every time she snuck a glance.

"Our date went well," I stated, though the uptick in my voice made it sound more like a question as we rounded the corner into my neighborhood.

"I think it did. Would you want to do it again sometime?"

"I'd like that. My treat next week?" I excitedly turned toward Jade while she stopped delicately in front of my house.

She nodded, unbuckling her seatbelt, "Let me walk you to the door. I don't want your mom to think I'm a total hag."

We lackadaisically walked to my front door hand in hand. She sighed, walking up the steps turning to face me. "Back to the real world."

"What's that supposed to mean?" my face cocked sideways, perplexed by the shift since the end of our kiss.

"Don't put too much stock in this, Vega, but tonight has been the best change of pace I've had in some time. Everything else is… complicated."

"Okay…" I nodded, attempting to understand as I brushed one of her blue highlights away from her face. "Will you let me know the next time I can help uncomplicate things?"

She shrugged, reaching past me to place a brief knock on the door. "Wanted to give us a limit this time."

"A limit for wha –" I began asking before being captured in another kiss. This one was far briefer but just as thoughtful. As the top lock clicked open, Jade pulled away, smirked, and faced the door.

"Tori? Did you forget your key?" I heard my mother ask as she was opening our door.

"No. Jade wanted to introduce herself." I stepped back, ushering Jade forward, "Mom, this is Jade. My date tonight. Jade. My mom."

Tucking my hair behind my ear, I stood perplexed at the gutsy action being made by one of the most intimidating people I had ever been around. But she smiled confidently, extending her hand, "Mrs. Vega. Thank you for letting me take out your daughter tonight."

Taken aback, my mom looked at me with a goofy grin while answering my date, "Of course, Jade. Tori told us briefly about you before tonight, but it's great to finally put a face to the name. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"She's lucky to have you." Jade paused, stepping back toward me, lightly connecting our hands between us, "I had a great night. I'll text you when I'm home." She leaned forward, placing a short kiss against my temple. "Great to meet you, Mrs. Vega. Thanks again."

Turning around back to her car, her dress lightly twirled, bringing a smile to my face. I whispered good night before spinning again toward my mom with a dumb grin plastered across my face. "That good of a date, huh?" my mom asked, breaking my daydream.

I giggled, "Yeah. It was… not what I expected at all."

"You're telling me. Any girl secure enough with your connection already to introduce themselves at the end of the date must be pretty special."

"I think so…" I replied, still dazed. "Do you mind if I head upstairs for the night?"

After getting the go-ahead from my mom, I rushed up the stairs to sit on my bed, waiting for Jade's confirmation text arriving home. But when I woke up fully clothed, makeup still plastered to my face at 2 am, I hadn't yet heard from her.

**Just checking in. Never heard if you made it home. – T**

_**Sorry... Yes, I'm home. Like I said, coming home sends me right back into reality.**_

**Right. It's complicated; I remember. Do you need anything? – T**

_**I don't think so. Can I call you tomorrow? Not sure I can wait until Monday to hear your voice.**_

**I'd love that, Jade. Happy you're alright. – T**

_**Okay. We're done talking. I need you to stop making me blush.**_

**Is that a challenge? – T**

_**Don't start with me, Vega! Good night.**_

I sighed, smiling into my pillow, replaying our kiss over and over again in my mind. Jade was different in so many forms of the word. But she also worried me. Her bravado an attempt at confidence. Her snark a cover for insecurity. Her composure a façade for something lurking behind first impressions. I may have been starting to fall for Jade West, but not without question after question running through my head.

My phone rang on Saturday a little before 3:00. I had just stepped out of the shower with barely enough time to wrap up my hair when I heard my ringtone from the foot of my bed. Rushing over, I jumped onto the edge of comforter, towel tightly around me as I picked up the phone.

"You didn't forget!" I smiled answered the raven-haired girl on the other end of the line.

"And you answer on the first ring. Please don't hold me to that same standard." She spoke monotonously like something was preoccupying her thoughts moments before our phone call occurred. "So, how's the day going? Any plans?"

"Maybe. I'm deciding between a pizza night with my family or going to the arcade with Andre and Robbie. How about you?" I wanted to hear her talk forever. I desired to listen to the lapses in her breath as she elaborated on an extended tale. I hoped to hear her voice trail up and down with excitement as she worked her way from beginning to end. But instead, she was short, her mind elsewhere.

"Oh, I'll be home with my mom tonight."

"That could be fun!"

"Whatever floats your boat, Vega."

Her curtness shocked me and led to a lull in our conversation.

"Jade? Maybe I'm reading this the wrong way, but is everything alright?"

"What do you mean?" she seemed caught off guard.

Here came the nerves. I felt them crawling up my back without an open invitation, "Umm… I guess I just had a different expectation for our phone call. Especially after last night. I mean, I thought we might be, I don't know –"

"Flirty?" She sighed, "I hate to break this to you, but I'm not always going to meet your expectations."

"Wait, no. That's not what I meant, Jade. I had just been anticipating hearing from you all day, and I figured that we would be able to pick back up from last night." Silence. "My mom was very impressed with you, by the way."

"Tori? Can we not talk about our moms? I can't do it today."

"Okay, moving on." My voice trailed before quickly picking back up, eagerly wanting answers on her part, "I know you just said that you can't do it, but I'm confused. You did tell your mom we went on a date last night? She knows you like me? A girl. Me. Tori."

"If I talk, you'll stop talking, right?" She waited for no response. "Great. Of course, I told her. I've told her many times. She's known I'm queer longer than almost anyone in my life. She heard your name, about your vibe, where we went, how it went, everything. I've told her."

"Good. So, where does the negativity piece come in?"

"I was getting there!" she inhaled, realizing her tone, "Sorry, bad habit. New year, new me. I don't know how exactly it works in your household, but just because I told my mom something, that doesn't mean she heard it. Remember? It's complicated."

"Right… complicated." I replied, already getting fed up with that sorry description, "After our next date, could I maybe meet her? You know, like how you met my mom?"

"Can we play it by ear? I'll have to see if she's up for it. Kind of depends on the day."

"Yeah, sure. I'm flexible."

"Mmm." Her voice sighed, "Flexible? Great to know. Let me write that down so that I can make sure to test that out when –"

"Wait. Wait. Wait." I interrupted, my cheeks flushing before I could sputter out any other words, "I meant flexible in that I'm up for whatever."

"Up. For. Whatever." Jade repeated after me as if continuing to write down my word vomit. "So what does whatever entail? On a scale from one to ten, how adventurous in bed would you rate your–"

"Jade!"

"What?" she asked innocently, deliberately egging me on.

"You know what!" I groaned. "You know what I meant."

"I did not Vega. That's why I was seeking clarification."

"Okay, fine. You can write both of those down." I fumbled again for the words, "They do apply to both meeting your mom and the… other… notes you're taking."

"How dare you discuss my mom and my private journal in the same sentence?" she gasped, before breaking into a fit of laughter, "Is it okay that I love messing with you so much?"

"It's only annoying when you twist my words."

"Gotcha. But just so you know, there is no way I'm erasing 'flexible' or 'up for anything' from my notebook."

"Fine… What else do you have written in there, if I could know?"

"Hmm. What hidden thoughts about you am I willing to reveal after just one date?" She paused, as I could hear a page being flipped back and forth, "Let's see. Sincere. Anxious. Captivating in both florescent _and_ natural lighting. Caring. Holds hands like she's keeping a secret between you. Soft Lips. Will take care of you. Flexible. And up for anything. Does that about summarize you?"

"More than I'd like to admit. Do you really think I have soft lips?"

"It's written down, right here. Do I honestly need to reiterate?"

"It couldn't hurt."

"Fine. Kissing you yesterday… wasn't the worst."

"Jade? That doesn't address the 'soft lips' clause of your writing."

She groaned though I was unsure if it was a real frustration or only shyness on her part. Either way, it was incredibly charming, "So, you know the kiss I gave you on your front porch? Right before your mom opened the door? Well, usually, that's as much as I kiss on a first date. Like, you have to give time to build a connection before really going for it. You get that. But, uh, I guess after you cleaned the infectious disease from my piercing last night, I knew that I wanted to give you a brief kiss…"

"Go on. I love this recap."

"But the moment I felt you reciprocate, I melted. I doubt you know this, but you do this pucker thing when you kiss like you barely draw out your bottom lip so that it lingers."

"Oh my God. Is that bad?

She laughed, "Far from it. It's the reason I wrapped my ankles around you."

"Which was incredibly attractive, by the way."

"So I've been told…"

"Don't ruin the moment, Jade."

"Ugh. It was getting too serious." She paused again, letting her words linger, "But, in all honestly, I think I could've kissed you all night. So, yeah, soft lips." I could feel her blushing through the phone.

"Thanks, Jade. That was incredibly endearing."

"If you even think about sharing that list with anyone. If anyone ever finds out that there is a list. If anyone comes up to me casually mentioning any part of what I just read off –"

"You'll what?" I interrupted her, calling her bluff.

"I'll have to tell them your list for me… which includes?"

"Oh, you're a schemer, aren't you? I see your thinly veiled threats to get some compliments from me."

"You caught me, though you still aren't talking about a part of any list I can hold against you?"

"Wants. To. Be. Held. Against. Me." I phrased just as she had minutes earlier.

"Vega, you know that's not what I said."

"So, I should erase it?"

"Oh. No, thank you. Please keep it. Continue." I heard a rustle behind her, indicating to me that she was lying down.

"Well, I don't have to real list, but let me think. Forward. Has electricity running through her. Honest to a fault. Risk-taker. Flawlessly beautiful. Can turn anything into a joke. Guarded. Wants to be held against me. Captivating. How'd I do?"

"You're not wrong, but I don't think all of those are positive. Do you?"

"Was you calling me anxious meant to be a compliment?"

"Well, yeah. You don't get to see yourself when your eyes narrow, and you twist your hands. It's quite adorable."

"Whatever you say, Jade."

"You also didn't mention anything about my kissing ability."

"I was attempting to not inflate your ego." I replied, hearing a faint 'ooh' from Jade, "But I guess I would say 'intentional.' Every touch and movement had a purpose. And I loved that you weren't rushed. It was great, and I was very, very sad when it ended."

"Don't worry. I promise it won't be the last time. I'm also taking copious notes. I'm adaptable."

"Good to know… I think I have to let you go. Mom's calling me downstairs to figure out what my plans actually are tonight."

"Quick question!" she paused, waiting for acknowledgment, "On Monday. How do you want to play this?"

"Let's keep the kissing to a minimum? I mean, it's only been one date. But I'm fine with some PDA. You?"

"I can work with that. See you then."

The rest of the weekend went by without mention. Though Jade and I texted off and on, we both did a relatively good job of not immediately being wrapped up within each other. I woke up early on Monday, though, to make sure I looked my best. She would be one of the first people I saw, and after Friday, I wanted Jade to be proud to be next to me.

Walking through the hallways, I canvassed my head back and forth through the lockers attempting to catch a glimpse of her. So I was pleasantly surprised when she was standing out in front of our geometry room, leaned against the door frame. Still in all-black attire with small tears working their way horizontally across her jeans, she caught my breath in her grasp as soon as I saw her.

"Waiting for someone?" I asked, startling her from staring into her phone.

"Oh, yeah," she muttered, waving me away with her hand even though cracks of a smile were breaking through, "They should be here soon." She barely made it another second before lifting herself up from her leaned position and wrapping her arms around my waist.

As her hands circled around me, my thumb traced up her collarbone before resting on her shoulder, barely tilting away to make eye contact, "Hey."

"Ah, there she is…" she grinned, tilting her head down to place a soft kiss on my forehead. "How's that for minimal PDA?"

"Perfect amount, but I think that the enamored way I'm staring at you now gives it all away." I lifted my hand up to the side of her face, gleaming into her eye, "Your piercing looks great. Is the salt stuff working?"

"Yeah, and thank God I'm not an embarrassment anymore." She rolled her eyes, smiling proudly.

"You never could be an embarrassment, Jade. Also, it's good to see you." I couldn't pull the smile off my face even if I wanted.

She pulled away from me, laughing, "You're already so goopy, Vega." Jade walked a few steps to her right to open the classroom door for me.

"You know you love it," I whispered as I walked into the classroom, pausing to turn back to her. Bringing my hand up to her cheek, I pulled her in for a quick kiss, eliciting a brief moan from its unexpectedness. "Couldn't help myself."

I smiled, leaving her in the doorway, feeling her eyes chisel through me as I walked. This was the idyllic start to a relationship that started before I could even find the words to say 'go.' She dripped with a combination of vulnerability, poise, and abandon that came off as effortless. I was starting to fall. No net needed.

When I realized her footsteps weren't following behind me, I turned around just before sitting at my seat. Jade still stood at the door with a light bite lingering on her bottom lip as she shook her head back and forth in disbelief. I smirked internally sitting down, because as soon as I saw her face…

I knew she was falling too.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed! I've hinted thus far as some brief drama between Jade and her mom, but I think you'll find it to be quite different than some other reveals I've read in Victorious stories. Feel free to leave any guesses. It'll be a few chapters until you all find out. :)**

**Also, unlike some of my other stories, I created a playlist to play in the background while I write as little notes of inspiration. Let me know if you'd like me to post what those songs are. Could provide a little insight on the story. Who knows?**

**Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**\- secretpen28**


	3. Crossed Collective Hearts

**A/N: Thanks so much for all of the comments, messages, and general support. I'll be posting more frequently than usual to figure out a good day of the week to post, and then, I will attempt to stick to a once a week timeline. **

**I received a message about the playlist I'm using and instead of giving you the whole gigantic thing, I'll instead just include the song that the title of the chapter came from. Every chapter title has 2-5 words directly from that song (except for the 1st chapter because I hadn't worked out the kinks just yet ;)**

**I also received a note asking about general pacing of the story because of the A/N at the start of last chapter. Essentially, I'm intending this to be a slow-moving, natural love story. So don't expect any sudden car crashes or cancer scares, everything will be alluded to far in advance. I'm hoping that this can be a story that I write over an extended period of time, developing the love between these two characters as I go. Hopefully, that's sufficient for you all! If you're looking for more excitement, urgency, or drama, head to my _Pretty Little Liars _stories. I'll provide more details at the end. **

**Chapter Title: The Gambler - fun. "We were barely 18, when we _crossed collective hearts_./It was cold, but it got warm when you barely crossed my eye."**

* * *

Over the past two weeks since our first date, Jade and I had become wrapped in one another. We were smitten, and our child-like fascination with the other sent both of us into an unexpected tailspin. Neither of us was looking for anything but found a counterpart that challenged, intrigued, and enraptured us. Though we did continue attempting to make our PDA minimal, our friends still grew tired of us quickly.

Andre and Beck exchanged glances any time Jade's hand lingered on my hips as we were walking in opposite directions. Robbie sighed during any interaction with Jade that ended with me running up behind her and covering her eyes to guess who it was. Cat quickly zoned out anytime Jade and I said goodbye in the hallway. Not wanting to witness Jade press a soft kiss just below my earlobe to whisper when we would see each other next. Their frustration in our affection led to us hanging out solely with each other on Fridays after school.

Lying on my bed before Jade and I were supposed to go out later that night, I was awakened by the feeling of Jade's nose nuzzling against my neck. My eyes gently opened to find her still wrapped in my embrace, cuddling closer into me for warmth. Grabbing the blanket covering us, I stretched it further over her, using my left arm to tuck it underneath her waist and upper back. I turned back toward her, placing a gentle kiss against her forehead before closing my eyes once again. My thoughts began turning into dreams as I lie there for the next few minutes before I heard my door creak open.

My mom stood at the door, peering into my bedroom to monitor us. I was given either this option or my door being completely open every time Jade was over. We decided together that the nosiness of my parents was less of a sacrifice to make then no privacy at all. We also knew that our relationship was nowhere near moving toward sex. So we were content with my parents making fools out of themselves every time they checked in on us.

She ambled over toward me, putting her hand against my back before whispering, "Hey, sweetheart. Your dad and I were about to order pizza. We didn't know if you guys were staying here for dinner or not. We'll make sure to have enough if you want."

Barely turning to keep Jade tucked against my chest, I replied, "Jade planned this evening out, so I'm not sure if we –"

"We have dinner plans, Mrs. Vega. Thank you, though." Jade barely spoke against my neck, keeping her eyes closed and sending chills down my entire body.

I smiled up at my mom, "We apparently have dinner plans, mom. Thank you for thinking of us."

"Of course, Tor. Sorry for interrupting your nap." She smiled sweetly at the two of us before heading back downstairs.

As soon as my mom closed the door, Jade began twirling a strand of my hair around her finger. "You know I can feel the goosebumps on your legs from me speaking against your neck?"

Startled by her comment, I quickly tried to pull my legs a little farther away from her, "I hadn't actually thought about that. That's embarrassing."

"No, come back to me! Nothing is embarrassing about you being turned on." She propped herself up on her elbow, leaning forward to place a small kiss on the end of my nose. Her hand resting against my side, trailed down my legs until it settled behind my knee, pulling my legs back toward her. "You want to hear about what we're doing tonight, Vega?"

I nodded as she continued turning my body and placing my legs over hers so that we swapped cuddling positions. My head now resting on her chest as our legs intertwined. "So a few towns over, they're having a carnival. I figured we could go eat some shitty food and walk around with as much PDA as we want because no one we know will be there."

My head raised off of her chest, "Can we play dumb games to try and win a stuffed animal?"

"If you'd like…" she trailed off, setting her lips on the top of my head.

"Can we make out on the Ferris Wheel at the end of the night?!"

Jade's hand tightened around my waist, "I'm sure we can make that happen." She laughed at my giddiness before sighing aloud as my head heaved against her chest.

"You alright?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking." Her fingers trailed through my hair as she lay there contentedly.

Propping myself on my hands, I rotated, placing half of my chest directly on top of her, "Thinking about?"

"I gave myself away too soon, didn't I?" She sighed again, wiggling herself out from underneath me so that we were lying side by side. "I was going to wait until a little later, but I'm continuously blown away by how much I like you. Like even just then, that Ferris Wheel comment would never have made me smile so hard a few weeks ago."

I smiled from ear to ear, "You like me?!" I acted shocked as I placed my hand against her cheek, Jade rolling her eyes at my touch, "Look at me, Jade… I like you too. So much more than I thought I could after knowing someone for three weeks."

Our lips closing in on each other's, Jade whispered, "Come here" under her breath just before we began kissing, sending more chills directly down my body. My hand wrapped behind her neck, lacing my fingers in her black hair while her hand cupped the small of my back to pull me closer to her. As we began kissing tenderly at first, Jade's hand made its way down my side, grabbing the back of my knee once again, pulling myself on top of her completely. She pulled apart from my lips for air before dragging her lips down my neck, nipping delicately at the skin.

"Jade… don't leave a mark." I sighed above her.

"You should've thought about that before you forced me to wear collared shirts all week, Vega. This is payback." She smiled against my collarbone before working her lips back up.

She began sucking my pulse point as my hands tangled in her hair, turning my head down, so my gasps and moans went straight to her ears. She made quick work of my neck in attempts of not leaving a hickey behind, continuing to place kisses up my jawbone before stopping at my ear. Barely biting my earlobe before running her tongue alongside it, my hands grasped for her back. She found my lips once again with now increased force as my tongue craved hers. I alternated between sucking each of her lips, capturing her groans with my tongue.

As the intensity behind our kiss increased, I felt Jade's hands work down to my shoulders before she gently broke from my lips, pushing up on my chest, "Tor… Tor… Tori. We have to stop now, or I won't be able to."

I nodded, looking deep into her eyes, barely still green due to her pupils taking up much of her iris. "Do you know how beautiful you are?" The thought came out of my mouth before I could process it.

"Oh, shut up." Jade groaned, pushing my shoulder so that I fell to her left as she moved to sit up.

Climbing over on the bed to wrap my arms around her chest from behind her, I placed a kiss on her temple, "I have no reason to lie to you. If you saw the beauty I see in you, you wouldn't be able to look away either."

Standing up, Jade groaned, pulling my arms from around her, "You're such a sap. You know I hate compliments." She walked to my bathroom, grabbing my hairbrush from the drawer, fixing the kinks in place from our nap.

I turned to swing my legs off of the end of the bed before continuing, "I understand that you may see yourself differently than I do." I stood walking toward her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she stared into the mirror back at the two of us, "But look at yourself in the mirror right now. Just look."

I watched as her sea-green eyes made contact with the mirror in front of her. She slowly traced them over every part of her face, stopping strategically at features of hers I was beginning to love. "Whether you appreciate the features you've been given or not, I want you to look closely at everything else about you. Look at the way your eyes smile in the light. The kindness they share on their upturned ends. Or your cheekbones when you give me a smirk or a grin. Your smile itself displays so much happiness every time I'm privileged enough to win one from you. You don't have to believe me when I say you're beautiful, Jade. But you need to start believing in the beauty others see in you, okay?" I pressed a lingering kiss on her cheek as I finished.

She linked her hands around my forearms, still staring forward into the mirror, a brief smile beginning to form, "Thank you, Vega. And I'm only accepting this compliment because I feel the same way when I look at you."

"That's a great place to start. Do we need to head out?"

"In just one second…" she trailed off, setting her brush down before attempting to turn around in my tiny excuse for a bathroom. "I forgot to grab one thing." She reached out to her right as if about to grab a towel before placing a slow but firm kiss on my lips, her pointer finger and thumb holding onto my chin to guide my face closer. Pulling away, she whispered, "I like you. A lot."

Smiling into her as our foreheads met, I reciprocated, "I like you. A lot."

Lacing our hands together, she pulled me out of the restroom on our way back downstairs, "Thank God. Otherwise, this mushy stuff would really be making me sick."

* * *

Traipsing through the carnival, Jade and I watched as our relationship continued to blossom. Being away from Hollywood gave us much more confidence as a pair. Though accepted no matter where we went, I could feel that a weight was lifted off of both of us from the fear of not living up to others' expectations. Walking from game to game, Jade wrapped her right arm around my waist, my left arm draped over her shoulder as she laced her own left hand into mine as we looked for hidden secrets to winning.

"Those basketball hoops?" she stated, pointing up 11 feet from where we were standing, "They're oval-shaped."

"No way!" I turned to her, confused, "Jade, I can see them from here! They're – "

"Oval-shaped, babe. It's an optical illusion from where we're standing."

"That's not possible. Some people get the ball in! If it were oval, that'd be impossible."

"Vega, I'm not going to argue with you, when this can easily be settled with a bet."

I broke from our hold, fulling facing her, "Call me intrigued. Go on."

"Well, we can see their true shape when we go to the Ferris Wheel later, and if you can stop making out with me for like 10 seconds, you can actually see what I'm talking about."

"10 whole seconds!" I announced, making Jade smile while rolling her eyes.

"If you're wrong, you have to let me give you a hickey."

"You know my mom would notice! That's not fair!"

"Okay, but if I'm wrong, you get to give me one. It's only a bad deal if you think you'll lose."

"There's no way it's oval-shaped. Shake." I muttered, holding my hand out.

"I really hope I'm there when your mom freaks out about the hickey on your neck, then," Jade commented, returning the handshake.

I groaned, immediately regretting our deal, "Wait. Did you call me babe?"

"No!" she scoffed, "When?"

"Like 30 seconds ago. You said it super nonchalant." I paused, putting on my best Jade impression, "Those hoops up there? Oval-shaped, babe."

She rolled her eyes, linking our hands back together, "I guess it just slipped?"

"No, no, Jade. Face it. You're a sap too."

Jade stopped right in the middle of the walkway, sending dozens of people to walk around us, "Tell no one." she pointed directly at me.

I pouted, goading her, "Tell no one what?" She looked away from my face attempting not to smile as I wrapped my hands around her waist again, tucking my palms into the back pockets of her jeans. "Come on… babe."

"Tori."

"Ooh, calling me Tori. Must be serious. What? You embarrassed now?" I leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the right of her mouth as she held her lips in a flat line.

"It's not funny." She muttered, her tone indicating actual irritation as she pulled away from me, spinning to keep walking.

"Live a little. I'm teasing." I jogged to catch up with her as she turned away from the carnival games and down a walkway leading to the food court "Jade, I was kidding. I'll stop, okay?"

She spun around quickly once we were both out of the light of the carnival rides around us. Placing her hand on my shoulder before holding me against the brick wall of the food court behind us. Now smirking, she pressed her body against me as her lips got impossibly close to my ear, "I'm only a sap when I'm with you. Not in public. Not around anyone else. Okay?"

"I thought we were saving this for the Ferris Wheel…" I whispered back, turning my face to hers to give her a delicate kiss, "I understand. I'm sorry that I kept up the teasing even when you tried to get me to stop."

She leaned away to look at me, tenderly, "It's okay. It's just frustrating feeling like you're not being heard, you know?"

My hand cupped the side of her body just below her breast, "Yeah, I get it. Sometimes I get carried away. I won't forget now that in public you just want to be a normal couple. Nothing overt. I hear everything you said. Won't happen again."

"Thank you." She smiled, giving me one last kiss before holding my hand again, "Also, please don't take what I said to mean that I don't like being teased. On the contrary, I love being teased." Jade lifted her pierced eyebrow while smirking to fully get across her message.

"Where is my notebook when I need it?" I joked, nudging her as we walked back toward the carnival.

After my apology, Jade's personality swiftly returned back to normal. We determined that the water shot game would be the easiest to win. So we sat down next to each other and played at least 6 rounds before Jade finally won against the children who act like they played the game for a living. So 24 tickets and almost 30 dollars later, I was the proud winner of a medium-sized duck stuffed animal.

Waiting in line for the Ferris Wheel, Jade held the duck for me as I wanted to wrap my arms around her to rest my head on her shoulder. "Given any thought to what you're going to name the little guy?" she asked while we began walking closer to the front.

"I think I'm gonna go with West." Jade paused as I continued, "Well, I think it's adorable that you call me Vega, but it would be weird if I just started calling you West, too. And naming the duck you won for me, Jade is strange as well. But I want it to have some significance to us, you know, so it can't be random. But maybe – "

"I like West. It suits him."

Helping me into the gondola of the Ferris Wheel, Jade and I sat on the same side to snuggle into each other as the breeze became stronger dozens of feet in the air. "I'm happy this whole carnival idea went over well. I was nervous that you would think it was cheesy." Jade smiled, looking over at me as we began to rise, her thumb lazily dancing on the back of my hand.

"Not at all. It's been good to get out of our hometown. Being out here just feels calmer. Especially because it's with you." I leaned forward to tenderly give her a kiss.

She quickly reciprocated, wrapping her arm more tightly around my shoulder as her head turned into mine. Sighing briefly into me as my tongue began making short circles in her mouth, Jade's right hand grasped the side of my face, holding the back of my neck and running her fingers through my hair.

Losing myself in her, I instinctually pulled away, mumbling, "Be my girlfriend." My lips rapidly got back to work down Jade's jawline while my hand dug into her upper thigh.

I felt Jade's head arch backward, giving me more access to her neck as she continued the conversation, "I thought I was already." My lips paused where they were, forcing Jade to fill in the gaps. She stroked my jaw with her thumb, leading me to pull away from her, "This is my fault. I should've known that you're the kind of person that needs to have 'the talk.'"

"Of course we do! Otherwise, how do we know what this is?"

"I mean, Tori, we spend every moment that we can together. You take me on dates. I take you on dates. We take naps cuddled together. I tell you that I like you. A lot. I know what this is because I can viscerally feel it. Can't you?"

"Well yeah, but don't we have to work out – "

"Shh…" she whispered, leaning back into me, "I am your girlfriend; we can talk about the rest later, okay?" Jade started pushing me back with more force against the bench, causing me to lean backward as her lips and hands began gravitating below my face.

"Jade. What are you doing?"

She paused from teasing my neck to look up at me, "I figured that our time up here was limited, so I might as well get started."

"On?" I asked, completely confused.

"Look left and down, Vega."

And as I tilted my head barely over the side of our gondola, I saw lights shining directly on top of those yellow… oval-shaped… basketball hoops. I chuckled against the metal as Jade's tongue worked in circles on the spot right where my neck and clavicle met. One hand held me at my ribcage, and the other lazily drew patterns through my jeans on my inner and upper left thigh. I closed my eyes, embracing my loss with audible sighs. Because even if my mom did find the future hickey or more likely, hickeys gracing my neck, fuck could my girlfriend do some work with her tongue.

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy the light angst. I'm not really one for writing super romantic/sexual descriptions, so some intense making out is probably all you'll ready see. But who knows, maybe one day in the future it will be a lot of sense for me to tap into that part of my writing.**

**Anyways! Let me know what you thought, what you see happening between these two, what you think is going on with Jade's mom/family. Review/comment away! I don't bite! :) **

**As I stated earlier, for more drama head to my Author page. I have a 2-part series featuring another queer couple from _Pretty Little_ _Liars_. The first is called _More Like Her_ and the follow-up called _Turn Your Face._ I'm also currently working on an extremely complex and lightly wacky separate story called _Needs, Wants, Desires, and Dreams_. That last one definitely is drama + drama + drama, but does get updated less frequently because I have to put myself into quite the headspace to be able to work on it in depth. They are also written quite differently than this style (which is mostly conversational, natural progression) so go check them out to see some 3rd person stuff, stories told from multiple perspectives, etc.  
**

**Hope that helps you all find some new stories you may enjoy! Thanks again for all the support :)**

**Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**\- secretpen28 **


	4. Saturated Sunrise

**A/N: Welcome back everyone! I love how this chapter turned out, and I hope that you all do too. Thanks for all of the views and support. Please feel free to leave any commentary! Enjoy :)**

**Chapter Title: Colors - Halsey "You're dripping like a _saturated sunrise._/You're spilling like an overflowing sink./You're ripped at every edge but you're a masterpiece./And now I'm tearing through the pages and the ink."**

* * *

Jade and I stumbled deliriously through my front door a little before midnight. The drive from the carnival combined with the copious amount of time we spent sucking face led to us being entranced as we entered the living room past my curfew. Though I had unlocked the door allowing it to start creaking open, Jade and I stood in the doorway continuing to talk. Not wanting our evening to end in the slightest.

With my back leaned against the door jam, Jade's hand laced through mine as she kissed me, pulling away with seduction in her eyes, "Call you tomorrow?" she asked as she kissed slowly down my jawline.

"Of course…" I paused as her lips made their way over the already pulsing hickey on my neck. My hand instinctively moved to pull up the light jacket closer to my neck, "Jade, stop."

She giggled, pulling away before leaning back in, "Your wish is my command."

"Tori?" We heard from inside, immediately jumping away from each other. "Is that you?"

Clutching Jade's palm into mine, we slowly paced into the room to find my mom standing on the top of the staircase, her eyes barely open, "Yeah, it's us. Sorry for waking you."

"You set off the silent alarm from leaving the door open. Why are you just getting home?"

Jade stepped forward, "That would be my fault, Mrs. Vega. I didn't time how far away the carnival we went to was, and there was construction on the way home."

"All you have to do is tell us, Tor. Your dad went to bed an hour ago thinking something had happened."

My eyes shot to the ground. Disappointing anyone was my biggest fear, and being scolded in front of my girlfriend was a close second, "Do I need to come to say goodnight to him?"

"No, I'll let him know." My mom waved, beginning to walk up the stairs before turning back to face us, "Jade?"

"Ma'am?" she asked back, pulling the back of my hand away from her lips.

"You were planning on driving back home at this hour?"

Jade nervously scuffed her boots on the hardwood while answering, "Yes. It's only about 20 minutes from here."

"If it's alright with you, Tori, she's more than welcome to stay here tonight. I'd hate for something to happen to you with all the crazies out on the road this time of night. I'm sure you have clothes for her, right?"

Wide-eyed, I looked over at Jade, who shrugged, a faint smile tracing her lips, "Yeah, Mom. I think that'd be fine. Jade will let her parents know. Thank you."

"Door open. Understood?"

We both nodded incessantly as we giggled back into each other's arms as my mom faded from view at the top of the stairs, "Looks like there will be no need for a phone call tomorrow, Vega." She stated as her arms wrapped around me. "Let me call my dad, and then I'll be right up, okay?"

Racing up the stairs and delicately placing my stuffed animal duck on my dresser with my other knick-knacks, I dug through my drawers to find something comfortable for Jade other than her all-black attire. Partway through changing myself, Jade walked into my bedroom, tossing her phone on the bed, "Dad's cool with it. I just have to be home by 10 tomorrow because he has to leave for a conference, and I need to be there to let Nadia in later on in the day."

I turned around from washing my face, confused, "Nadia?" I watched as Jade spun around, looking for a charger plugged into the wall as she replied.

"Oh, yeah. She just… she takes care of the house when my dad goes out of town."

I nodded while walking back into the room, hoping that changing the topic would tone down Jade's nervousness, "I pulled out these shirts and shorts for you, but I'm not sure any of them will fit your…"

My voice faded as I circled my hand over her torso from across the room. "Tits?" she completed my sentence without hesitation, "I can always just sleep in my bra."

Looking up at her, she smirked at me with one eyebrow cocked in classic Jade West fashion, "Um… I think that we can find something that – "

"Is Victoria Vega stuttering at the thought of seeing her girlfriend in a bra?" she began walking toward me, crossing her arms over her hips while reaching for the bottom of her top to start lifting it up her torso.

"Jade? Jade!" I panicked, running toward her. "My parents are a few doors away!"

"I'm changing. No one should be looking in here at me changing anyways." She replied while pulling the shirt over her head, causing me to immediately turn around facing the wall. "Tori –"

I walked to my left past her before moving toward my bedroom door, shutting it briefly to allow her to change, "Yes, Jade?" I asked while turning back around to face her, "I'm trying to make sure that this sleepover isn't just a one-time thing."

My voice trailed off as my eyes took in Jade in front of me. She was looking down, attempting to kick off her boots using the heel of the opposite foot before she noticed I had stopped talking and looked up to meet my eyes. Though she never wore baggy clothes, they did not do justice to her figure, which under the dim lighting of my room, accentuated the curve of her waist against her porcelain skin. Her slender build met her breasts, which were enclosed in a red underwire classic cut bra. Far more ample than my own, I stood staring at the glorious figure in front of me in awe.

"Well fuck, Vega. I didn't come here to be ogled." She smiled, twirling around to grab a shirt off my dresser and pulling it over her head, "How's it fit?" she turned back, doubling over in laughter at the tightness around her chest. "I'm gonna need your help unhooking in the back if we don't want to rip this vintage YMCA tee."

Laughing with her, I walked over, slipping my hands up the back of the shirt to fiddle with her bra hooks, "Sorry for staring, earlier… There you go." I walked back into my bathroom to take off my makeup as Jade kept talking.

"Can I open this door back up now? I would like to sleep here more than just once too." She asked while opening my bedroom door once more and pulling the bra out from the sleeves of the shirt, which still kept the shirt tight on her chest, but provided a little more wiggle room.

"Sure! I can change from here."

"You know, your parents are really cool about all of this." She kept speaking as she wandered back to sit on the edge of my bed. "I can't complain about mine either, but it's been a while since I've brought a girl home."

I scoffed, "It's taken us a long time to get where we are now; that's for sure. I remember my mom coming home early for work when I was in 8th grade and finding me and Hayley Walter making out on our living room couch." I grimaced, "That was rough."

"Yikes. Is that how you came out then?"

Throwing my makeup wipe in the trash, Jade and I switched spots in my bathroom as I began to change into my pajamas while continuing, "No, no. I think I was around the age of six when I started telling my parents I didn't like boys, so it was kind of known but unspoken until then. My parents and I never discussed it per se. Like, how do I explain it? It –"

"Just was?" Jade inferred.

"Yeah, I guess that's a decent enough way to describe it. They just sat me down after that incident, and we talked about general rules when having someone I liked over here. It was never gendered, but it took them a while to get used to the fact that not every girl I bring over here is someone I'm seeing or even interested in. I still have to be incredibly specific on who is who in my world."

Jade rolled her eyes, "I got that a lot too in middle school. I came out to my parents in 6th grade, I think. God, has it been over five fucking years? And it was never a spoken problem with my parents, but it was hard being able to see in my dad's eyes that the plans he had for me were changing. You know? He had a whole future planned out for me in his mind, and I ruined that with 3 words."

Our thoughts trailed as I pulled on my pajama pants, tossing Jade some through the bathroom door as she continued to get the black eyeliner off from her lids. It was comforting to be dating someone who was more secure with themselves. Someone who longer had parents so hyper concerned about their child's sexuality that they were breathing down our necks.

"So, who is the last girl you brought home, Jade? You mentioned that it's been a while."

"Freshman year. This girl who went to the public school right by my house. Ava. Ava Wilson." Jade walked back into the bedroom as I was getting under the sheets and comforter. Getting in on the other side of the bed, we both turned on our sides to look at each other as we spoke.

"Was she your first girlfriend?"

Jade smiled, flooded with pleasant memories, "Yeah, first everything. Sweet girl. You?"

"Well, Hayley devastated me after our make-out sesh, saying that she was 'experimenting.' But I was one of the only out people in 8th and 9th grade before transferring to Hollywood Arts, so I dated slash slept with quite a few people as they were coming out as well."

"Ugh, the worst." Jade groaned.

"The absolute worst. Never again." I smiled into her, briefly kissing her before our conversation continued. "So, this Ava girl?"

"Broke my fucking heart." Jade reflected, turning over onto her back, "She was older and so insanely cool that I never thought I could live up to how perfect she was."

"Jade West intimidated by someone? Keep going." I dug, incredibly intrigued at the vulnerable woman my girlfriend had become in the course of one short conversation.

"I mean, there's not too much to say. We dated for almost the entire school year, and then, she decided to start dating someone 'more mature.' Ended up dating a senior a few weeks after we broke up. I couldn't compete with that, but it destroyed me that who I was wasn't enough for her."

"Is that where this whole 'I hate compliments. Don't call me beautiful.' bullshit came from?"

"Probably." She trailed off, looking over at me before patting her chest to indicate that I should cuddle up next to her, "I honestly have never really thought about the armor I put on afterward."

We laid there for a few minutes silently as we both drew patterns into each other's stomach and sides, "I hope that in the future. Maybe not tomorrow or even next week, but I hope that at some point, you'll feel safe enough around me to take that armor off. I'll keep it safe for you."

"I'll be sure to tell you as soon as I'm ready to remove it, okay?" She bent down to kiss my forehead, "Also, I fucked up earlier tonight." Tilting my head in concern, she continued, "I assumed we were dating without talking to you first. Setting ground rules. All of that."

"You know that's fine, Jade. Of course, we're dating. I just think it's important to lay out expectations and everything. Lack of communication has ruined more than my fair share of relationships."

"And it's been nearly two years since my last official one. I'm out of practice with it. So feel free to lead the way for me, Vega."

Sitting up against the headboard, Jade wrapped her arm around my shoulder while we laced hands in front of us before starting, "Okay, let's start easy. What are you looking for right now in a partner? A hookup? Something more?"

Jade rotated her head, cracking her neck while responding, "God, I remember now why I hate these. This shit is serious."

"Duh, Jade. I can go first. I'm not going to sit here at 16, almost 17, and say that I'm looking for someone long-term. That's unrealistic in my mind because I barely know what I want tomorrow. But anyone I'm intentionally putting into my life, I expect to be there for a while."

"So, you're not just waiting for us to fuck?" Jade jested, a blush covering her cheeks as she struggled to even finish the question.

"Well, of course, I'm waiting for us to fuck, but not because I'm going to move on afterward."

"Did Tori Vega just say fuck?"

"Jade!" I exclaimed, tapping her forearm in front of me, "Please be serious about this. We have to have solid communication, or what's the point?"

"Okay, okay." She inhaled, "I've only been in one long-term relationship. I would love to be in another. Over the past two years, I've intentionally separated myself from everything so I could breathe alone. I don't want that anymore. I want someone by my side who helps me sort through all of the shit that comes our way. Everything within me right now says that you're going to be around for me for more than just a little while."

I rubbed my thumb against the back of her hand, "See? You're not bad at this! You just need practice. "So, monogamy? Tell me about your thoughts."

Jade laughed loudly, "You haven't seen this side of me yet, but I am insanely jealous. In some ways maybe a little territorial, which is a bad thing, I know. But there is no way we could have an open relationship. I would go insane."

"Understood. I'm perfectly fine with that. Can't wait to jot down 'insanely jealous' into my notebook when you leave tomorrow."

"Okay, I have one… What's your love language?"

"Quality time, for sure. Like we could literally lay here all day mindlessly discussing whatever came to mind, and I would walk out of here on Cloud Nine. I can only assume that yours is Physical Touch."

"Well – " she paused, "Not exactly. I show love through Physical Touch, but I would prefer receiving Words of Affirmation."

"Interesting for someone who hates when I give them a compliment."

"The difference is that I don't like it when they come out of nowhere. I want to be told that I am good enough, beyond appearance or actions. Just that I alone, Jade West, none of this makeup or clothes bullshit, am good."

"Okay. I'll remember that. Can I give you a compliment now that won't come out of nowhere?" She tightened her grip around my hand as I continued, "Thank you for the sincerity in your answers. I can tell that this is difficult for you. Still, I appreciate your willingness to have this conversation with me even though it's foreign for you."

"Always." She replied, kissing my temple, "Oh, I nearly forgot. Speaking of quality time, my dad reminded me on the phone that my uncle, his brother, is getting married next weekend. Would you like to come with me?"

"You're asking me to be your wedding date?"

"Well, yeah. Is that too much too soon? I thought it'd be cute to watch us dance the night away."

"You could suggest just about anything, and I'd come along with you."

"Skydiving?"

"No, not –"

"Swimming with sharks?"

"Jad – "

"The world's fastest rollercoaster?" she asked another time, before starting to tickle my sides.

"No, no! Stop, stop! Jade!" I squealed before flipping over to make direct eye contact, shushing her.

"What?" she smirked, "I'm not making any noise! You're the one who's going to wake up Trina or your parents." Her face fell, laughing into her chest.

"You're such a rascal," I replied, reaching up in attempts to tickle her neck.

"A rascal?! Tori, are we in fucking 1800s England?" she asked before switching into a terrible British accent, "Well, what do we have here fine chap? A rascal from the north!"

Blushing, I bent my head down into her stomach, "You know what I mean! Don't ridicule me!"

By this point, Jade was roaring with laughter while trying to lift my head up to meet hers. "Come here." She ushered as I scooted myself up on the bed to be closer to her, her lips falling softly on my own, "Sorry for messing with you."

Her thumb danced over my skin, sweeping hair from my face. Tracing down my neck with her hand as we continued kissing, sighing into each other as our insecurities started to fade. Now able to see the entirety of my neck from earlier in the night, she paused and broke into laughter once again, "I really did a number on your neck, didn't I?"

"It's what I deserve making a sorry ass bet with you. I should've known better from your cocky self-confidence during that handshake."

"And now you'll never forget how rigged carnival games are, will you?"

"That and to never trust my girlfriend in a bet!"

Jade smiled, staring directly into my eyes, "I like the sound of girlfriend on you, Vega. Is that a yes to the wedding next weekend?"

"It will always be a yes from me."

That night, I slept with my arms swept around her, curving my legs into hers, spooning. Jade had taken my right hand draped over her waist and tucked it in between her hands so that it was delicately caught beneath her chest. I felt her body heave in and out as she slept, counting the seconds between each breath up and down. As I noted during our nap earlier in the day, Jade tended to remain entirely stiff as she slept, not making a move until waking up the next day. Unfortunately, this made my position throughout the night stagnant due to my hand being securely contained against her bosom. I faded in and out of sleep, attempting to become comfortable but feigned surrender as the light began breaking in through my room after 8 the next morning.

Sore on my left side from remaining as still as I could throughout the night, I began whispering my girlfriend's name to try and garner some reprieve, "Jade? Hey? Can you let go of my arm?"

Her face crammed against the pillow. Her eyebrows barely began to twitch, recognizing my voice, "Vega?"

"Good morning there. If you let go of my arm, you can go back to sleep. Can you do that for me?"

Though she loosened the grip on my hand, she decided to turn her entire body to envelop me in her touch. I nuzzled my back into her, finally feeling relief for my side. The temporary blessing of no pain was soon interrupted by Jade kissing up the bottom of my neck as if being awoken for the first time that morning. But instead of merely waking me up with touch, she sang a melody into my ear in between her hands, twisting through my hair and kissing me lightly.

_You are my sunshine._

_My only sunshine._

_You make me happy._

_When skies are grey._

_You'll never know, dear._

_How much I like you._

_Please don't take my sunshine away._

Rolling over, a smile plastered against my cheeks, I kissed Jade gently as she finished, "What was that for?"

"You make me happy. My mom used to sing that to me when I was little." She left a peck on my cheek as she got up from the bed quickly to use the restroom.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes, praying for the moment I could fall back asleep. Jade turned to me while peeing, and I could tell from her eye contact that something was wrong. "You alright this morning?"

She sighed, "Just in my feelings. Every time I leave you, I'm so happy. And I feel like I don't get that again until you're back in my life. No other part of my life falls together like this."

She walked back over to sit on the bed as I wrapped my arms around her, "Talk to me then."

"It's –"

"Complicated. I know, Jade. But if you keep it all in, then I don't even know that something's wrong."

She put her head in her hands as though determining a life-altering decision, "I hesitate talking to you about it because, yes, it has to do with me. But it involves my whole family, and it's a lot."

She stopped talking the moment she met my eyes, "Okay. I'm right here, Jade. I'm with you. How can I help?"

Turning toward me, she laced her hands in mine, "Vega, you have to understand this. You can't help me. There's no helping this, okay?"

"What the fuck is going on, Jade? Are you in trouble? What's happening?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I mean, I guess it's okay to talk about it. She does ask about you… sometimes."

Placing Jade's head in my hands, I stroked her jawline, looking at her, "Jade, tell me what's going on. Who are you talking about?"

"My mom… Tori, my mom's sick. She has early-onset Alzheimer's." she stopped, taking another breath, "She has for a few years now. On any given day, she may not remember my name, what day it is, who she's married to. Once, she forgot me altogether, for a time at least. I never know what I'm walking into when I leave here."

"Okay…"

"Fuck." She pulled away from me, standing off the bed and starting to change clothes, "It's too fucking soon to tell people shit like this, Jade. You fucking knew it. This is why you don't bring people into your life. Idiot." She continued muttering under her breath as I began speaking over her.

"Jade, I'm just processing. You've had years to process this info, okay? Give me 30 seconds."

"It's not something you can process and move forward from, Tori! You don't get it until you live it. It was too soon; it's fine. No harm, no foul." She raised her hands while yanking her boots onto her feet.

"Okay? Then I'm coming with you." I instinctually replied, getting off the bed myself to pull a sweatshirt over my head.

"What?" she paused with one boot on.

"I won't get it until I live it. Let me live it. I wasn't lying to you 45 seconds ago, Jade. I'm here. You're talking erratically. Let me at least drive your car home. You can decide on the way there if you want me to go inside, but I would love to meet your mom." I inhaled deeply, confused about how a pleasant morning had faded to this.

"You would?" she lit up more than I had seen her smile in the weeks I had known her.

"Of course. You're my sunshine, too."

* * *

**A/N: Welp. The secret is out. In a majority of the stories I've read, Jade's parents don't pay attention to her or remember things she does. So I attempted to find another reason for that type of behavior. I've a few family members suffer with Alzheimer's/dementia, so I hope that I will be able to present it in an accurate light that shines more into Jade's negativity, style, etc. **

**Let me know your thoughts please! Thanks for all the support so far!**

**Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**\- secretpen28**


	5. Lost In The Static

**A/N: Thanks for the warm response to the twist at the end of the last chapter. I had hoped that it would be met well, and from this chapter, you will definitely be able to see how this effects Jade more than she maybe even knows. This chapter was incredibly difficult for me to write due to the personal connection it holds for me. So heads up to anyone who has directly been impacted by Alzheimer's or dementia. This one may hit you hard.**

**Chapter Title: Spinning Bottles - Carrie Underwood; "He's in a hotel room with the TV on./Getting _lost in the static_ with the curtains drawn./Knowing this could be the time that gets her gone. For good. He'd quit if he could./But one down. Two down. Three down. Four. Can't even recognize the man in the mirror anymore." (Truly a crushing song that doesn't have much to do with the chapter at all, but really sets the vibe.)**

* * *

It wasn't that I was nervous about meeting Jade's parents. I wasn't afraid of blowing it with someone I saw myself falling in love with. I worried that meeting Jade's mom would connect all of the dots behind Jade's armor. I was stressed that the woman sitting next to me as I drove wouldn't be able to handle introducing someone new into that world. I was petrified that if I broke through that armor, she would disintegrate and not know how to deal with someone truly knowing her.

Covering her left hand lying on her upper thigh, I looked over at her frequently as I drove, hoping for a sign that she was going to be okay with me intruding. She kept her eyes drifted out of her window, so she wasn't facing me. Her jaw unnaturally locked as her pupils dilated from the reality of our excursion. She remained silent much of the drive before we pulled up to the gate entering into their far above the middle-class neighborhood.

"So it's been about four years, but has become progressively worse over the past two. There are 7 stages of the disease; she's in Stage 5. She doesn't work anymore and Nadia, well, Nadia takes care of her every day. She can do things for herself most of the time, so Nadia's there mostly to make sure she doesn't forget where she is and try to leave the house. Which happened once, that's another story. Anyways, she does better with the past, so ask questions about that. She may or may not remember your name, but she likes meeting new people. Treat her like anyone else's parent you're meeting. Act like I've never told you and forgive her for her faults. Okay?"

I nodded politely as she continued to give me directions, "At the stop sign, make a right. It'll be the house near the end of this first block with the two black SUVs. Right here. Yeah, pull into the driveway."

As soon as I parked, she hopped out of the car and waited while I collected my things. Now feeling entirely out of place in my pajama pants and sweatshirt, she reached out her hand to have us lace our fingers together. "You ready, Vega?"

"Are you?" I reciprocated, pulling her head into my chest, "It's okay if it's a lot. I'm here."

She wrapped her other hand around our already intertwined fingers as we walked down the driveway around the house to the backdoor. It opened into a beautiful mahogany lined kitchen with floor to ceiling windows and aesthetic touches only a designer could have added. Jade's father was at the sink, cleaning off dishes from what looked to be that morning's breakfast.

"Oh! A visitor." He exclaimed, wiping off his hands and coming around the counter to meet me. He was tall with kind eyes. The same eyes as his daughter's when you looked carefully enough into them. He kissed Jade on the forehead before extending his hand out to me, "James West. It's nice to meet you. Tori? I presume?" he looked back and forth between Jade and me.

Jade grinned and laughed, "Yeah, Dad. This is Tori."

"Nice to meet you, Mr. West. You have a beautiful home."

"Call me James, please. Come on in! You have perfect timing this morning, sweetheart. I'm headed out in 10 or 15 minutes, whenever Nadia gets…" his voice trailed.

"She knows," Jade replied, as I gave a casual wave moving deeper into the family room to the right of the kitchen. "Just found out actually. That's why we're here; I kind of freaked on her this morning."

"Brave woman, then." He continued speaking as I faded into the next room, allowing them to catch up.

The dark wood themes continued in through the family room where vaulted ceilings topped with oak beams shaped the entire space. The fireplace extended up to the ceiling as well, while the remainder of the room was covered in West family's memorabilia. Photos of Jade and her parents lined the walls with different themes each year around Christmas time from ugly Christmas sweaters to Santa and his elves. No pictures had been hung in the photo set since 2014, about the time Mrs. West's health began to decline. I lifted a finger to trace over the top of a photo where Jade looked to be about five, as I heard her and dad walk in behind me.

"Told you she'd be in here snooping," Jade commented over her shoulder, walking toward me to wrap her arms around my waist. I tilted my face toward hers, anticipating the kiss against my cheek. "Like what you see?" she whispered into my ear.

"This Jade, right here, seems extremely distant from the Jade in front of me now."

"I mean, that cat sweater doesn't even fit me anymore, so I was forced to make a few changes." She kissed my cheek as we rotated to face her father.

"It seems like Tori is as impartial to your piercings as your mother and I are." Her dad commented, walking to sit on the arm of their wrap around sofa.

I lifted my finger, "Didn't say that. It just makes me wonder how we got from there to here. Both are perfect." I stuffed my hands uncomfortably into my sweatshirt pocket from immediately disagreeing with my girlfriend's father. Jade's right hand quickly followed and began rubbing the top of my hand with her thumb in reassurance.

"It's nice to see Jade with someone who speaks her mind. She hasn't had that much. Thank you for clarifying." He stood up from his spot, walking to the backdoor where his suitcase waited. "So Jade, like I said earlier, I'll be back Monday morning. Nadia will be here until then. Keep an eye on the alarms, and please make sure that Mom gets around some more."

Jade nodded while her dad collected his things before walking up to the front of the house. She turned to me, "See? He's pretty harmless."

"I had no idea how he was going to react to when I contradicted him."

"I get my snark from him, so he definitely appreciated it. He's always wanted me with someone who can give it as much as they can take it." She moved away from me as I turned back to look at the photos. "By the way, he's just going to say goodbye to my mom, and then, we'll have the house relatively to ourselves until Nadia gets here."

"Jade!" I snapped around to face her, "I'm not hooking up in your house with your mom right here. Who do you think I am?"

She shrugged, "Look, I figured I'd offer. Not an exhibitionist. Noted."

I worked my way back to sit down next to her, falling against her chest naturally, "But I was serious about what I said earlier. That girl 10 feet from us is entirely different from the one sitting next to me."

"I –"

I dropped my voice to show the care put into this next thought, "Wait. Let me finish. That's not a bad thing, but it makes me worry about what happened to that little girl, you know. It makes me want to put myself in your place when your mom got diagnosed and the pressure put on you so young. When did you find out?"

Jade's face had fallen, and she refused to meet my eye, "In 8th grade. She used to help me with my homework every night, but she started struggling to remember how to do the math in pre-algebra. She couldn't remember if it was a weekday or a weekend. I was late to school more times than I could count. And when I'd tell my dad about it, when he got home from trips, he didn't believe me at first. So, I started helping her cope. I would set my own alarm an hour early to make sure she got up. I found her keys every night before going to bed, so she could keep them in the same spot each day. I taught myself my homework ahead of time so that if she got confused, she would think she was still teaching me correctly an – "

Her voice caught under the breath as she tried to continue. Looking away from me to wipe a tear from her right eye, she sucked in deeply, trying to find essential air. I wrapped my left arm across her waist, squeezing barely on her torso, so she knew I was there. I couldn't fathom the reality that for a time, Jade supported her mother. She took on a role that no child should be expected to perform. She became a protector instead of being protected.

As much as I wanted to continue the conversation, I could hear Mr. West's footsteps behind us. I hopped up to say goodbye, "James, it was great meeting you. Jade just stepped out to use the restroom, but thank you for welcoming me into your home." I extended my hand, trying to play off that my girlfriend was crying 15 steps away.

"The pleasure is ours, Tori. I told Julia that you both were here, and she seemed excited to meet you. She's watching her soaps, but you guys are cleared to go back anytime." He connected our hands together before pulling me in for a brief hug. While letting go, he looked into my eyes, "So you know, if Jade is introducing you to this part of her life, you must be someone pretty special. We will have you over for dinner the next time I have a few days at home." He pointed directly at me as he opened the door to leave, "Treat her well, Tori. You hear me?"

"Yes, sir. I completely understand. Looking forward to dinner." I exhaled as soon as the door closed, wringing my hands off on my pajama bottoms. It was still classic to me that I hadn't even considered changing before running out of the house to support Jade. Walking around the couch, I fell back down next to her. This time, we traded positions as Jade leaned to fall in my lap, facing forward while I ran my fingers through her hair.

"Where were we?"

"He likes you." She muttered, wrapping her hands under my calf lying against the couch cushion. "He doesn't threaten everyone."

I chuckled, "Threatening is a form of flattery in the West household?"

"The fact that it isn't at your house is weird." Jade laughed, kissing my knee. "Thank you for listening."

I took that as a sign that she was finished sharing for the day. We would have more time to talk, and I would be there to listen. And even though that signified a long-term relationship, one far longer than the near month we had known each other, it didn't scare me. Not in the slightest.

"Let me know when you're ready to see your mom. She's watching soaps, apparently?"

"We should go before Nadia gets here," Jade stated, beginning to sit up and stand from the couch. "Her room isn't the biggest, so having too many people is sometimes overwhelming." She rushed to wipe remnants of mascara off her cheeks. "Sorry, I don't want her to know I was upset."

Following her lead, I stood up and stuck out my thumb for her to lick, "No need to apologize; I understand." I rubbed the tear-stained smudges from the rest of her face with my thumb. "Just breathe with me." I placed our foreheads together as we inhaled and exhaled on beat. Eyes closed while my hand still rested against her cheek.

Her arm quickly wrapped around my waist to pull me into a kiss, both a welcomed gesture and an alarming surprise. Her left hand sunk into the skin just above my breast as my hand on her face grasped for more. Her lips puckered, pulling my lower lip gently, sending out an audible sigh. She smiled against my lips as we continued. With her hand on my back, she arched me backward lightly, keeping me stable with her other hand on my hip. Pulling away from our final kiss delicately, her right hand gently grabbed my ass through my pajama pants, sending a deep chuckle through her.

I hit her shoulder as we pulled away, "We're in your living room, Jade."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Vega. Got it. I'll save it for the bedroom." She smirked over her shoulder while walking down a hallway with a few doors running on either side.

"Mommy?" she asked down the hallway, reaching back to hold my hand. "It's Jadey."

"In here!" her mom replied, and as I turned the corner into her room was immediately met with a smile before she looked back at her daughter. She closed her eyes as if recalling a memory or image. She looked different than I had pictured, my own shitty imagination making her appear crippled or fragile. She was close to my mother's age. The only discernible difference was her eyes, which, despite filled with light, were sullen and sunken as if indescribably tired.

As soon as she opened them again, she looked back at me and then toward Jade, "Awh, Jade. She's even prettier than you described."

I turned to my girlfriend, who had already looked directly to the floor, blushing. When I looked back up again, Mrs. West had sat up from her reclined position and was holding out her hand to me, "It's very nice to meet you. And I've heard a lot, please don't think I haven't." She looked back at Jade, who smiled dearly, "But can you remind me of your name, sweetheart."

Jade sat down on the bed next to her as I took a seat on her other side in a chair positioned intentionally to face the bed. Jade's face stayed drooped, looking at the comforter beneath her. I could tell by her expression that she had practiced my name with her, but she hadn't remembered it long enough to meet me. However many days it had been, it had been a few hours too long without a reminder.

I smiled up at Mrs. West in reply, "Victoria. But I go by Tori, or in Jade's case, Vega."

She wrapped her hands in mind, "Give me one name."

"Too many will confuse her." Jade inserted, pausing to look over at me, "If it helps, I've been referring to you as Victoria." I turned my head puzzled, as she filled in the blanks, "She has a sister named Victoria; I figured it may stick longer." Her voice trailed as she realized it hadn't helped.

"Okay. Call me Victoria, then."

"It's a beautiful name." she closed her eyes again with my hands still between hers, trying to file it away, "You know, I have a sister by that name."

Jade and I made eye contact. I watched her heartbreak but listened to what she said earlier in the car, 'Forgive her for her faults.'

"Your mother must have had excellent taste as well, then," I reassured her mother, getting a nod from Jade based on my reply.

"Mommy, I brought her here today to meet you, specifically. I wanted Victoria…" her emphasis on my name sounded strange escaping her lips, "…to meet the most important woman in my life."

Jade spoke with a delicacy I hadn't seen yet in her demeanor. It was as if in front of her mother, she faded back to the young girl in the cat sweater. The little girl she was before her mother's memory began fading. Before she covered her pain in black, her suffering in hair dye, and her regret in piercings.

"Who, me?" her mom asked, jokingly, which sent Jade into a giggle.

"Of course you. I thought that it was about time the second most important woman in my life meets the only other person in front of her." I gulped as Jade finished her sentence, realizing the emphasis behind her words, the gravity in which she was speaking.

"Well, how nice…" her mom drifted off in thought again. Her eyes wandered the opposite direction from their conversation as her face became more confused, "So, Jadey, where did your dad go?"

"His business trip." She replied briefly, pointing over to the wall behind me. There was a small chart with 3 whiteboards labeled: JAMES, JADE, NADIA, and underneath each, it listed where they were. Currently, they each said, BUSINESS TRIP UNTIL MON. AM; WITH VICTORIA – HOME BY 10 AM SAT.; AWAY FOR EVENING – BACK BY NOON SAT., respectively. "Here, let me change mine."

She stood up, walking around the bed to erase her board, filling it in to say, 'HOME UNTIL MON.' "Does that help, mom?"

Mrs. West nodded before adding, "And today is?"

"It's Saturday, Mrs. West. October 5th, to be exact."

"My, my. October already." She paused, "Jade, I think I'm ready for you both to leave."

Her bluntness caught me off-guard, but Jade did not react, making me assume this was relatively normal.

"Of course, Mom. I know that meeting someone new is always a lot. Do you mind if Victoria –" she paused, pointing at me again as a reminder, " – do you mind if she stays here this afternoon? I will drive her back home before dinner."

She looked at my face, making a third or fourth memory in her brain, "Victoria… yes, that should be fine."

"It was nice to meet you, Mrs. West. I'll see you again soon."

"Right, right. See you soon."

Jade and I walked out of her room together, and I immediately exhaled as our feet hit the wood floor of the hallway.

"How was that?" I turned to ask.

"She was pretty good today. No rambling or complete incoherency."

Internally, I was shocked that the introduction we just had could have been more jumbled or incoherent than what I had experienced. "That's good. But I meant, how was I?"

Jade gave me a short kiss, "You did fine, Vega." She walked down the hall back toward the living room as I followed behind her.

"Fine? What's that supposed to mean?"

She turned back to me, surprised, "It means fine. I'm not going to critique you after meeting my mom for 5 minutes."

"No, I need you to tell me. As apparently the second most important woman in your life, you should be able to tell me."

She groaned, sitting down, "It's not that big of a deal. You just shouldn't have told her the date."

"What? Why not?" I paced back toward the kitchen, now thinking I had done something to set her off.

"The stage she's in now can sometimes cause her to forget multiple weeks of information at a time, so telling her the exact date can sometimes fuck with her. A few months ago, when it was my birthday, we celebrated, and my dad said the date. She freaked out because she thought it was still April at the end of July. She asked us to leave for the day and didn't want any of us to talk to her. It all depends."

"So, her asking us to leave?"

"Yeah, Tori. It probably had to do with telling her the date."

"Damn, I'm sorry, Jade." I walked back over to her, placing my hand on her shoulder.

She scooted to the right, removing my hand from its place, "That's why I said it's fine. It's not good or bad, you just didn't know."

I moved around the couch to sit down next to her, "Okay. I'll remember that for next time. Thank you."

As I finished my thought, we both could hear the lock to the front door being opened. Nadia. She walked into the living room to find us both on the couch, Jade met her eye before replying bluntly, all as if one monotonous sentence, "Victoria. Nadia. Nadia. Victoria. Mom kicked us out just a minute ago, so be cautious. Thanks for being here."

Nadia stood in the doorway, nodding briefly before responding, "Thanks for the heads up. I'm here 'til Monday when your dad gets back, right?"

"Yep."

"She's in a mood." I mouthed Nadia's way, causing her to snicker before turning down the hallway. "What was that about, Jade?"

"We don't get along. She thinks that because she takes care of my mom that she knows her better or thinks she can parent me or some shit. She stays in her room, and I stay in mine." She reached for the remote to turn on the TV before crossing her arms, still easily a foot away from me.

"Jade, I'm sorry if I messed up. It's going to take some time for me to know all of the ins and outs." I reassured, attempting to scoot closer to her as she mimicked my move to remain away from me.

"I know. Do you get why I don't let people in now?"

"I think so. It's probably pretty hard to trust someone with all of this. There is definitely a clear difference in the demeanor and tension around each of your parents. It must be hard adjusting yourself to fit the environment all the time."

"It is." She spoke with finality, looking back up at the television.

It was fascinating to watch her in this environment. To see how quickly she went from pleasant and cheerful in front of her mother and father to then completely shut down outside of their presence. As if she had given all of herself to them without receiving the same in return. They had lost her somewhere in the discovery of this disease, and she had lost herself with it.

"Why me, then?" I asked sincerely, hoping to get her to open up again.

Staring directly at the TV screen, she replied, "Because I can't be alone with it anymore."

Tears began forming at the bottom of my lids at the flatness in her tone. This is what she meant by the fact that I needed to live it. I needed to sit in the fact that her mother was fading from her day by day. The woman in the photos on the far wall was no longer the same person. And in hopes to distance herself from that realization, Jade made sure she was no longer the same person either. It would forever be their final connection; their distance from their original selves the last thread linking them in familiarity.

"Jade…" It was all I could get out before the tears in my eyes began falling down my cheeks. She looked at me sorrowfully as our eyes connected, causing her to immediately reach out for me.

Wrapping her arms around me, she spoke, "It's okay, Tori. It's a lot to take in. I know." With me crying into her chest, she continued, "See why I can't take the armor off?"

"No, it's not that. It is a lot to take in, yes. But I can process that. I'm crying because of you."

"Me?" she looked astonished, staring in my eyes.

"You didn't hear how sad what you just said was? How what you've said in the past minute is hard for someone who cares about you to hear? It makes me so sad to hear that you've felt alone the past four years and that you feel trapped inside of this armor even when you're around your family. That's why I'm crying, Jade. Your happiness is directly linked to mine now."

"Then, sweetheart, you need to stop crying." She leaned down, kissing me softly, "Because you make me happier every single day." She tucked me into her side, momentarily before we heard soft shouting from the hallway.

"Fuck," Jade grumbled, sitting up and leaving me behind as she raced for her mom's door. "Tori, stay in here. Please."

Call it nosiness or persistence, but as Mrs. West's shouts grew louder, I couldn't help but make my way down the hallway.

"Stop asking me how I'm feeling! Where is my husband? Where is James? GET OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Nadia walked out of the room, looking at me with tears forming in her eyes as she went toward her bedroom further down the hall. Reaching the doorway, I peered inside to find Jade curled up against her mother in bed.

"Mommy? It's me. It's Jadey. I'm here." Her voice was barely above a whisper as the tension of her arms squeezing around her mom calmed her down slowly.

In an instant, Jade had reverted back to her childlike state. A caretaker, none the less, but childlike all the same. It was how she had learned to cope. It was how she had maneuvered being responsible for herself and her mother simultaneously. It's how she reasoned with herself that the armor was necessary. It's why she believed she needed to be in that armor permanently. Because the only way she could cope was to keep being needed. As long as she was remembered, she was needed. It's why when I heard her begin talking again out loud, my tears immediately returned.

_You are my sunshine._

_My only sunshine._

_You make me happy._

_When skies are grey._

_You'll never know, dear._

_How much I love you._

_Please don't take my sunshine away._

Because everything she did. Everything Jade did day in and day out. It was just so she could cope with a world constantly changing around her.

* * *

**A/N: I grimaced to hold back tears more times than I could count while writing this. But sometimes writing is the best therapy._.. _****I hope it potentially helps you as well. **

**Please let me know you're thoughts. Also, based on my testing the waters this past week, I believe that my posting day will be Wednesdays or Fridays. But I may also release chapters as I write them like I don't give af. It'll depend.**

**Thank you again. Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along. **

**\- secretpen28**


	6. Listen As You Feel 'Em

**A/N: It was great to hear how many of you have been/are affected by Alzheimer's in our day to day lives. I hope that this story can live as breathing testament to all impacted. Thank you again for your continued appreciation for this story. I'm quite enjoying its laid back nature; I hope you all do as well.**

**Chapter Title:** **"Feelings" - Lennon Stella; "I don't want to talk about your feelings./ I don't want to _listen as you feel 'em._/ Didn't someone teach you when you leave what you have,/ you can't take it back./ Oh no. It doesn't work like that."**

* * *

No matter how in the moment I attempted to be when I saw Jade singing to her mom, a part of me left. A piece of innocence and belonging that I still was holding on to, drifted away to float above the scene. It absorbed the air from the room as the West's entire household went quiet. The walls built up to carry the weight of her mother's illness crumbled back to a time when their roles were reversed. A time when Jade's nightmares were consoled with the same song. A time when indescribable happiness radiated through my girlfriend. She clung to her mother like she clung onto that memory. Even though in the recesses of her mind, Jade clearly knew that someday it would fade as well. That a time held most dear to her would only be a folk tale in her mother's recollection.

Not wanting to further intrude, I walked silently back to the living room. Looking around absentmindedly for something to do, I found myself trying to be useful. From straightening the front table to finishing the dishes Jade's dad started, my hands couldn't stay idle. As soon as my stomach began grumbling, I paced through the kitchen, trying to find something I could make for us all. Settling on grilled cheese and tomato soup, I started focusing intently on everything that had happened in my day before noon.

I distinctly understood Jade's hesitancy. She was right. There was no way that we could just process this as a couple and then move forward. The world was not that generous. In a matter of weeks, we had carved out a safe space. And in hours, that space had been flooded, making way for a reality that had been lurking all along. As terrifying as it was to me, I had accepted all of Jade before knowing all that surrounded her. I had dedicated myself to seeing this relationship through the moment I saw her in the hallway after our first date. The moment her eyes grinned into mine. The visceral connection that palpitated between us was undeniable. For some reason, I was meant to be with her right now. Just as she was to be with me.

A few minutes from finishing four plates of food, I felt Jade's palms on my back as she curved her hands around my waist, "I thought I smelled something… " She whispered into my left ear before barely catching my ear lobe between her lips.

I turned my head to face her, giving her a brief kiss before interrupting, "Give me one second. I can't burn the first meal I make for you."

"Who knew we had a James Beard Award recipient among us?" She replied, backing off to give me some space.

"A who?"

She scoffed in reply, "I'll explain later, Vega. Sorry about that, by the way."

Taking the last sandwich off the skillet and turning down the burner for the soup, I spun around to face her, "There's nothing to apologize for, Jade. I made enough for all of us, including Nadia, by the way."

Jade was now sitting at a chair at the barstool chairs surrounding the island, "I'll text her." Looking up from her phone, she continued speaking, "So what else did you do to keep yourself busy?"

"I straightened up some papers by the front door. Finished up with the dishes which took longer than I had anticipated because I seriously had no idea where anything went in this expansive kitchen."

Though only a little more than a foot from her, Jade reached her arms out to pull me in between her legs. "Why are you so wonderful?" she asked, looking up at me with immense sincerity.

"You deserve wonderful." I tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear with my thumb as she swerved her head down, attempting to escape my compliment, "You don't believe me?"

"In the middle of all of this? It's hard to."

"Why, while caring for your mother, would you not deserve the same in return?"

Her head remained down, "I don't know. It's just unexpected. I know it's not true, but it feels like no one had considered me for years before you. It's been so long that it's hard to imagine that someone would see me - would see all of this, and then, would decide to be wonderful in my world of chaos."

"You make it an easy decision."

I ushered her jaw upwards with my thumb, closing my lips around hers before she could reply. From their resting place on my hips, her hands slid beneath my sweatshirt without a second thought, gripping my skin with her fingers to pull me closer to her as she clutched my rib cage. My muscles tensed to her touch as Jade pulled her lips away for a brief pause, leaning against the side of my face before breaking out into a smile.

"We have to stop," she whispered against my cheek, "I'm sure Nadia will be coming in here soo –"

"Yoo-hoo?" Nadia called behind us, as if on cue. "Lovebirds?"

Jade rolled her eyes, spinning away from her voice as I replied, "Made lunch for everyone. Just a simple grilled cheese and soup."

She sat down three seats from Jade, immediately digging in as I placed the plate in front of her, "She calmed down faster than usual today."

"Yeah, she fell asleep pretty quickly." Jade answered monotonously, "And that happened just during her everyday questions?"

Nadia nodded, putting another spoonful of soup in her mouth, "The first time I asked how she felt, she looked at me like she hadn't heard me. So I repeated myself, and it set her off."

"Can you ask about that when you all go to the appointment next week? My dad will probably forget."

"Let me put it in my phone, so I don't."

The conversation then went to a standstill. As if beyond her mother, Jade and Nadia didn't speak at all. As the three of us sat quietly while eating, Jade connected her hand with mine in between us. A wordless gesture that spoke more than her words could express.

After some time eating, Jade collected both of our plates, cleaned them off, and placed them in the sink before turning back around to speak to Nadia again. "We're going to be here for a bit upstairs, and then, I have to make sure she gets home safely. Will you be alright here?"

"Definitely. I'm going to bring this in to her so that it's there when she wakes up, and then, we'll move on to our typical Saturday afternoon routine."

"Sounds good. Vega?" she looked over at me, smiling.

"Don't get into too much trouble!" Nadia yelled over her shoulder as Jade and I began walking up the back stairwell.

"Oh, fuck off…" Jade mumbled under her breath, making me snicker at the quick snapback.

Walking into Jade's room felt overwhelming, to say the least. It felt bigger than my living room, and with Jade's minimalistic tendencies looked maybe even larger than it actually was.

"Before you say anything, the only reason this room is abnormally large is that this is the houses' guest suite. It wasn't my choice. I hate it. Don't talk about it."

"So, your comment to Nadia going up the stairs was a lot." I changed the subject immediately, causing Jade to turn around at me, smiling coyly.

"Fuck. You make me grin like a little kid." She wrapped her arms around my waist, looking at me intently.

"Is that a bad thing?"

"Not at all, but how am I supposed to keep this hard-ass persona going when every time I'm around you, you turn me into mush."

"You being mushy around me is one of my favorite things about you, though."

"And what's your favorite?" she took one step closer to me even though our bodies were already impossibly close before I sighed deeply and gave in.

Jade began the kiss with more force than I did, sending us a few steps backward so that Jade could push the door closed with her left hand. Her right arm quickly found its way around my waist to help guide us to her bed. I alternated between kissing Jade deeply to then barely tracing my lips over hers until I could feel her leaning forward, searching for more. Feeling the back of Jade's legs hit her bedframe, she jostled into me, sending laughter through the two of us.

"Can I?" she asked, quietly into my ear as I felt her hands settle just below my shirt. Nodding into her, I raised my hands for her to pull my top over her head, as she quickly copied the movement on her own, both of us now shirtless as Jade's back hit her bed.

Looking at my girlfriend in astonishment at her continued beauty, I kicked my shoes off before leaning forward to attempt to take Jade's boots off as well. "Oh, wait." She interrupted, "These fuckers are really a big inconvenience. Forgot." She sat up, now able to kick the first one off without leaning over before unlacing the second boot and ripping it off her foot. Readjusting herself on the bed behind her, she scooted up on a pillow before continuing to speak, "Ready."

I laughed, falling into her as our lips met again. Impulsively, I worked my way to be lying on top of her between her legs. Her left leg tangled around mine as we fell into a swift pattern of teasing. Jade's hands worked her way through my hair, collecting it between her fingers and pulling it to one side. She began teasing the same side of my neck, still bruised from her dedication to the cause the night before. My hand laced with hers as I groaned from the mix of pain and pleasure. Working to take more control, I inched my way up to straddled Jade on either side of her hips, not allowing our lips to part as I relished in this moment. Jade's lips worked slowly as she tenderly alternated between teasing between kisses with her tongue and sucking or pulling my bottom lip, sending light moans of out of me. She kept one hand just below my bra as the other cupped my face delicately. But as our kiss grew more passionate, her hands quickly gravitated to my upper thigh to hold to me as my thumb traced her jaw tenderly. She pulled her legs up to cup my ass, giving me room to sit directly on top of her as we continued.

"You know," she pulled away slightly, her lips already puffy, "Every time I've dreamed about this, I never took you for a top."

I grinned into her as I began kissing her neck, "You've dreamed about this?"

"More times than I can count, Vega."

Her hands grabbed my thighs tightly as she pulled her mouth up for more, humming in contentment as my hand traveled down her side to grab her breast through her bra. Her fingers dug into my upper thighs again while her other hand attempted to undo my bra blindly.

Her lips paused as soon as her brain caught up to the picture being created in her bedroom, "We can't do this here, can we?"

I sat up still positioned over her hips, "It may not be the smartest idea. Or the most romantic of all time. Especially considering that I just met your mom today."

Jade splayed out underneath me as if in a sacrificed position, "This is torture. No wonder I haven't been in a relationship in two years." A pause lapsed between us as I traced my thumbs up and down her bare stomach. "Speaking of my mom, did you want to talk about it at all, Tor?"

I collapsed against her, both of our eyes closing as I reflected on the day, "I don't think so right now. I think that I am still trying to get it all sorted in my head. I mean, it's been less than eight hours. Like we talked about earlier, it's made me think more about you, not her necessarily."

"Well, I'll try to answer any questions I can for you." One of her hands lazed around my waist while the other brushed across my face, endearingly, "I appreciate you doing this for me."

I leaned up to look into her eyes, my hand resting on her chest, "What did I tell you the night of our first date? You know, when I was cleaning your piercing?"

"You said, expect it from now on."

"Exactly." I laid my head back down, "I'm here, from now on until you tell me not to be."

"Vega? Not that I'm not listening or appreciative, but I still have somewhat of one-track mind over here… Next weekend. The wedding. I can see if my dad will get us our own room?"

"Would he be okay with that?"

"I don't have to tell him the nitty-gritty." She smiled against my temple as she kissed me gently, "But you'll need a separate room anyway. I'll just ask to see if I can stay with you."

"All of my ideas ended with us in the backseat of a car, so this sounds ideal." Jade brought one of her hands up to her side as I finished speaking, lacing our fingers together before coming in for another kiss.

"And it'll be perfect. We will have been going on dates exactly a month this Saturday." Jade whispered against my lips, enjoying the feeling from the brief touch between them. "Thank you again for today, Tori. There's no one else I would've rather had by my side."

I sat up one last time while reaching to my left to pick up our shirts mangled on the other side of the bed, "You know, I think after today it's official… you are definitely the overly sentimental one between the two of us."

Jade gasped underneath me, "You wouldn't dare give me that title?"

"I wouldn't? Is your hard-ass persona melting before your very eyes?" I laughed as all of a sudden, I felt force underneath me, flipping me to my right. Jade now on top of me, smirking.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Vega." She replied, leaning down to place a series of kisses from right next to my belly button up to my lips, "But this scenario right here beats any dream I've had so far."

"Mush," I whispered as she swallowed my breath with another kiss.

* * *

Jade dropped me off a little before sunset, giving me a lingering kiss as we parted. There was something in her smile that screamed both delight and regret in one curve of her lips. It was fear. That I now held the truth about her and her family in my palms in which she had no clear idea if I would keep it secure or manipulate it. All she knew was that at the moment, I deserved to see a different side to her. I deserved to know the reason behind her desperate desire to cling to our relationship. Something new and unique and untouched by the bitterness of her reality. And she deserved to have her heart protected in return. She deserved to know that every time she saw me and would question if her secret was still safe, that I could open up my palms to tell her, "Don't worry; it's right here."

I walked into my house with a new-found heaviness. Immediately being greeted by my mom, dad, and sister made me feel smug. Without even grasping it or understanding it, them being there was already more than Jade had had for years in her household. And as they began bombarding me with questions, I felt more in Jade's shoes than I ever had before. Because the weight I now held didn't give me the strength to uphold their standard of me answering questions. The nooks and crannies of my mind did not give way to the superficiality of 'catching up.' It was no wonder to me now that Jade had made the decision long ago to shut down. If she were unapproachable, she could sit with the weight of her family without question. If she were angry, no one could ever make the leap to her actually being sad. If she were alone, no one would try to break down the walls she deeply desired.

All of this hit me like a cascade of truth three steps into my living room.

"Earth to Tori? Are you alright in there?" Trina asked me, my eyes jolting back to their place once realizing how close to me she now was.

"Yeah, sis. I'm good."

Not great. Not excellent. Not okay. Simply good.

Because after today, sure, my life could always be better. But I would be damned if I made Jade's life any worse.

* * *

**A/N: Thanks for tuning in again. I know this chapter was lightly a filler, but I did hide some little nuggets for future plot lines in there. So dig around to see if you can find any of them! :)**

**Happy Thanksgiving to all those who celebrate! I am thankful for all you for sure. 'Til next time!**

**Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**\- secretpen28**


	7. Fight My Fear

**A/N: Welcome to the last month of the decade! Thanks for all of the support :) Someone reached out over message asking, "If all the chapter titles are based off part of song, is the whole story based off one?" **

**The answer is YES! The phrase "You'd Be Home" comes from the Owl City classic "If My Heart Was A House". I would definitely recommend giving it a listen. **

**Chapter Title Song: Lovely - Billie Eilish and Khalid, "Need a place to hide, but I can't find one near./ Wanna feel alive, outside I can't _fight my fear./ _Isn't it lovely all alone?/ Heart made of glass, my mind of stone/ Tear me to pieces, skin to bone/ Hello, welcome home."**

* * *

Jade and her father picked me up Saturday morning just before sunrise to head south for the wedding. In typical 'meet the family' fashion, Jade and I stood awkwardly on my front porch while watching my Mom and Dad meet Mr. West. We giggled silently as our fathers attempted to out strong arm the other in their introductory handshake and gently hit each other's shoulders whenever they made the other laugh.

"This is embarrassing for you, too, right?" Jade mumbled into my ear before kissing my cheek.

"Oh, deeply embarrassing." I adjusted ourselves to face one another as my hands grabbed the zipper on either side of her leather jacket. "Have I ever mentioned that I love this jacket on you?"

My compliments never failed to make her blush, "This ol' thing! I'll remember that."

Pulling her closer toward me, I waited until our parents were mid-laugh to speak again, "Can't wait to see if off you, though."

"Vega!" she jumped away, caught off by my forwardness. I bit my lip to contain my laughter the entire time we said goodbye to my parents. Watching Jade flushed and trying to keep her composure was one of the many vulnerable states I enjoyed putting my girlfriend into.

Once in the car, Mr. West gave me an intensive history lesson into their family, which Jade whisper apologized for multiple times from the front seat. And though she'd frequently roll her eyes or urge her father to hurry up, it was impossible to miss the way Jade was enamored with her Dad. The way she relished his memory as if these could be the last stories he ever told her.

Her grandfather was stationed at the Navy Base on Coronado Island at the time he met Jade's grandmother. Because of all the memories built there, the family had never left. The West's and their four sons now owned real estate up and down the island, making it the prime location to host Mr. West's youngest brother, Gideon's wedding this weekend at the Hotel del.

"Tori, I'm happy you were able to fill in at the last minute for Julia. The family's excited to meet you."

"I can only imagine it will be incredibly overwhelming." I cringed through my smile in the backseat.

"It will be." Jade discouragingly reassured me. She reached her hand into the backseat for me to hold as she continued, "Don't freak her out too much, Dad. We like this one."

"Oh, we do? I'll be sure to pass that along." I laughed at Mr. West's joke, causing Jade to squeeze my hand, "You know, I don't think that you've introduced anyone in the extended family to someone you've dated. Are you trying to cause a stir?"

"No." Jade's tone shifted, "Why would Tori 'cause a stir?'"

"I mean, unless you've told them, I doubt they know you date women."

"Dad…" Jade pulled her hand away from mine, suddenly panicked.

"It's not my news to share, Jadey! When would your dating life ever come up in normal conversation anyway?"

"You told them she was coming, right?" Jade looked back toward me, her eyes searching for answers.

"Of course, I did. I said, 'Because Julia's stamina isn't up to it this time, Jade is bringing a guest."

Jade scoffed, "A guest?"

"Well, yeah. What was I supposed to say?"

"That I'm bringing my girlfriend, Dad!"

"You want me to call them now? We can clear this up easily." Jade didn't reply as her Dad looked in the rearview mirror to add me to the conversation, "The reason it's funny is that no one in the family will bat an eye at this. My oldest brother Cameron married his husband a few years ago; the whole family was there. Jade's just upset that she has to be the one to share the news."

"It's really not funny at all."

"Jade, I don't mind. It's cute that you're so embarrassed." I interjected.

"I'm not embarrassed – "

"Okay, not embarrassed. But think about what a great impression we now get to make."

"You make a great point there, Tori! You two are smitten!"

"Smitten…" Jade muttered. "Is it time to go home yet?"

As soon as we pulled up to the valet at the hotel, Mr. West and us were separated by Jade's desire to escape the car completely. Her father stopped to tip the valet driver and also ran into one of his cousins, which gave us a clean getaway as we went to check-in.

"Room for James West with check-in under Jade West." She said pensively, passing her ID and credit card to the receptionist. Her eyes bounced back and forth across the lobby of the hotel.

"What's going on with you?" I asked as she kept growing more and more nervous in front of me.

"I'm trying to find someone I know so that we can get this over with." She replied, smiling back at the receptionist to grab our cards as a bellhop gathered our bags to take to our room.

"Get what over –"

"Uncle Derek!" she exclaimed over my voice, wrapping her arm around me to pull me toward the sharply dressed man standing by the coffee shop doors.

"Jade!" he smiled as he wrapped her in a hug.

"Tori, this is my Uncle Derek. He's my Uncle Cameron's husband; we were talking about their wedding on the way down." I nodded, extending my hand as she continued, "This is my girlfriend, Tori."

"So great to meet you, Tori. As an outsider at one point in time, please feel free to come and chat if all the names get confusing."

"Oh, thank God! That's one of my biggest fears for this weekend. I'm so happy we made this connection early." I reached for Jade's hand next to me as soon as our handshake finished, seeking someone else to ground me.

"How long have you two been dating? If you don't mind me asking…"

"About a month," Jade responded, trying to get comfortable in the conversation.

"Wow. Not very long then." He replied, bringing his coffee to his lips, "Cam? Come over here! Meet Jade's girlfriend!"

I looked down at the ground while Jade laughed. Both of us internalizing that this was about to be our entire weekend. Hearing thumping footsteps coming toward us, I pulled Jade closer to my side before letting go of her hand to introduce myself again.

"Girlfriend?" Cameron came bounding toward Jade for a hug before turning to me and wrapping me up before I could object, "My God, Jade. She's gorgeous."

"Thank you." I shrugged, pulling away, "I'm Tori."

"Jade! Why didn't you tell us?" Cameron continued.

"Oh, you know... it's not that important, right?" she looked toward me, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear that was now out of place from the unexpected hug.

"You two are so precious. But you're so right, Jadey. If you told anyone, though, I thought you might have told your Uncle Cam!"

"Next time, then." Jade smiled before yawning, "I think we're going to go check out our room though before the ceremony at 4. Good to see you both!"

Jade began walking us away as I was trying to say my goodbyes, both of them waving to us excitedly as we turned the corner.

"God, this is going to be fucking exhausting." Jade slumped as soon as we were out of sight in the elevator corridor, "Meeting all 200 of my family members will be the same thing over and over again, Vega."

"We can ask them to form a line?" I joked, sending the first genuine smile in minutes to her face "It wasn't bad, Jade. They were happy for you."

We walked into the elevator, pressing the button for the 8th floor as Jade continued lamenting, "Well, they're not assholes, but every single person is going to be amazed. Then they'll ask how long we've been dating, gasp at that number, and then talk about how gorgeous you are to me as if you aren't a foot away listening in."

"That's fine, then. At least we know what to expect." I laced my fingers back in hers, trying to calm her down.

I felt her exhale next to me as the elevator slowed for our floor, "Okay, 824. This way." We walked about halfway down the hall before stopping to open the door into our suite.

"Jesus Christ, Jade. We have our own small house." I walked in, looking at the living room attached to the bedroom and large bathroom.

"Welcome to the Del! Every room is like this."

"And when you asked your dad about paying for a room just for us, he shrugged and made it happen?"

"Just about. It's only one night." She smiled as our eyes met. Walking toward me with lust filling her eyes, she quickly pinned me between her body and the wall. I gasped, feeling caught against her, "Speaking of only having one night…" Jade mumbled against my neck before starting to kiss me.

Her hands groped out of desperation as all of her pent up desires attempted to be expressed through solely her lips and hands. She laced our fingers together before plastering the back of my palms against the wall. Briefly letting go of my lips, she edged her way down my neck, giving me a moment of reprieve.

"Jade…" I exhaled exasperatedly.

She leaned back to look at me, enticingly before biting her lip, "What is it?"

I chuckled as I held the back of her head against my neck to continue working, "Is this more what you had in mind during your dreams?"

"Almost." She paused, breathing over my collarbone before her hands let go of mine. Her right arm wrapped around my waist, holding tightly on my ass cheek. "Jump."

"Jump?" she nodded as I complied, her left arm grabbing me behind the knee to wrap my legs around her waist. As soon as they were secure, she urged me up against the wall, groaning into her lips once more.

"This is the dream." She mumbled, starting to turn me around to walk toward the bed.

"Put me down so I can finally take that jacket off of – "

The knock at the door sent fear through Jade, who accidentally dropped me onto the bed at the sound, "Fucking hell…" she groaned.

"Jadey! It's your Dad."

I pulled myself up onto the edge of the bed, fixing my hair as Jade opened the door, "What's up?"

"Just checking to make sure you all were getting settled."

She leaned back to look at me, winking, "Definitely starting to get settled."

"Good. Good. You guys have a little over an hour before you both need to be ready for the main event."

"We got it. Wedding starts at 4."

"Which means be in your seat no later than 3:45. I'm two floors up in room 1042. Call my phone if you need me, okay?"

Jade nodded and smiled, closing the door as her Dad began walking away, "I'm going to fucking scream, babe."

I broke out into laughter at Jade's continued frustration, "It's okay. We have all night." I stood up, wrapping my arms around her. "We'd rather have all night than a measly hour right now, right?"

Jade nodded, kissing me briefly. Walking her way back toward the restroom, she peeled her jacket off, tossing it to the ground before entering.

"To be fair, though, Jade… I did just get you out of your jacket."

"FUCK OFF, VEGA!" she groaned, sending laughter through me once again.

Jade and I rotated around each other's orbit over the next hour as we slowly got ready for the wedding. Not wanting to get any makeup on my dress, I opted to sit in a chair in front of our mirror in my bra and underwear getting ready. In hindsight, this may have been more of a distraction than a helpful first step.

"Are you trying to fucking torture me?" Jade sighed, coming back into the bedroom from using the restroom.

I looked up at her wide-eyed, "Oops. I didn't think about it."

"Didn't think about it?! What did you think you half-naked in our bedroom would do to me?" Her arms draped around me from behind as she placed a small kiss on my shoulder.

"I was being practical!" I smiled up at her capturing her in a short kiss before turning her around, "Go get ready. I've been dying to see you in a dress."

"Seems a little counter-intuitive to the plans tonight, doesn't it?" she smirked over her shoulder while pulling her shirt off over her head.

I smiled internally as I listened to Jade get ready. She lightly sang every song that played on her Spotify while curling her hair and redoing her eyeliner. Happiness exuded from simply her voice, radiating a calmness through me that I wanted to hold on to long-term. Tonight would finally be ours without complications or interference. I only hoped that Jade's present happiness would carry through the next 8 hours before we had a chance to come back to our room.

She walked back around the corner about 40 minutes later in a royal blue dress that stopped a few inches above her knee. The sleeves were lined in lace while below her waist, the skirt barely flared out, which accentuated her phenomenal figure. Alternatively, I was wearing a crimson red dress of a similar length paired with a gold pendant.

"Show off for me." She smirked, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed.

There's something about being cherished in someone else's eyes. The power and light felt behind their gaze that sends tingles down your spine. A palpable feeling between two people that this exact moment is what they had envisioned every moment before now. It was a peace that marked both the beginning, middle, and end of something new, real, and beautiful.

As I spun around in a meager circle, she walked toward me, grasping my hand, "I said to show off for me. Be brave about it." And she extended her hand out for me to spin wider, taking into account the full breadth of space that could be used to our advantage. "There you go, Vega." She finished as I spun back into her chest before she placed a fine kiss on the tip of my nose.

"You're radiant. This dress is a perfect color on you." I replied, linking our hands together.

"I'm happy you like it. I honestly was freaking out about which dress I should wear, but I thought the lace would be an edgy touch."

"I love it for sure." Without understanding, shivers went down my spine, causing me to shake out my body.

"You okay there?" Jade giggled.

"I think so… Weddings kind of make me nervous." I sat down on the bed to put on my heels as Jade walked back toward the closet to rifle through her bag. "They're kind of a big deal."

"There's nothing to worry about. I'll be by your side all night…" she paused, pulling a large flask from her bag "… but if you want to edge off any concerns, I did bring some alcohol for us."

"You trying to liquor me up for tonight, sweetheart?" I smirked, grabbing the flask from her hands to take a brief swig, "Fireball?" I replied through my grimace.

"Smells like gum to anyone else around us." She shrugged as she took a drink as well, "And of course I don't want you liquored up, but what fun is a wedding without a little bit of a buzz."

"You're a mess."

"Always." Jade replied as we both collected our bags to head downstairs to the wedding below.

Throughout the ceremony, Jade and I caught each other's eye frequently, giddily smiling and looking away out of flirtation and insecurity. Anytime we reached for each other's hands, Jade circled her thumb on the outside of my hand or palm as another way to remind me that she was there. Jade made me proud like no one else ever had. Her confidence and her poise had no choice but to rub off on me over time.

During the cocktail hour, Jade and I snuck a few shots in the bathroom before going out and meeting more of her family members. They surrounded us like we were a spectacle, waiting patiently to ask any and all questions our way.

"Nana, this my girlfriend, Tori."

"Tori! I heard rumors that Jade West had brought a woman along to this party! Let me look at you, love." She remarked, placing my face in her palms as she stared into my eyes. "You make a terrific couple, and we feel so lucky that you chose to celebrate with our family today. Now you take care of my Jade. She's my oldest granddaughter which is why she's named after me…"

I paused to look over a Jade as she started shaking her head, "Well, Nana, that seems like a great introduction. We'll be around all night, okay?"

"You're named after her?" I smirked as I watched her internally groan.

"My middle name. Emilia."

I reached over to hold her hand, "Jade Emilia West… I love it."

"And yours?" she probed, "It's only right that I learn yours too."

"I guess. I don't find mine embarrassing. It's Renee."

"Ugh." She muttered, "Of course you have the cutest fucking name in the world. Hey, if you go grab us some sodas or something to drink, I'll find our seats and everything. Sound good?"

"Sounds perfect." I kissed her on the cheek briefly before going to wait in line.

With so many people in line for alcohol, I waited patiently for my turn for a few minutes before I felt a tap on my shoulder. Behind me was a guy much taller than I am with tan skin, brown hair, brown eyes, and what some would consider being conventionally attractive.

"Are you even old enough to be in this line?" he asked somewhat mockingly.

I turned around, chuckling, "Are you? I'm actually in line for some soda."

"Oh, okay. I'm in line to talk to you."

"Huh? Why?"

"I'm Andrew, the bride's nephew. It's nice to meet you."

"Tori. Same to you." I shook his hand before quickly pulling away, looking across the room to make eye contact with Jade as her eyes shot open.

"You, uh, don't remember me from the ceremony earlier."

"No, I'm sorry. I don't actually."

"I was across the aisle, a few rows up. We made eye contact a few times."

"Did we?"

"Yeah, you smiled at me, so I figured that I would come and introduce myself. I thought maybe we could hang out tonight."

"Hang out? Oh no, you have the wrong idea." I tried stepping backward to glace back up to our seats across the ballroom, but I could no longer find Jade's eyes at our table.

"So, you didn't smile at me?"

"Maybe I did? I honestly don't remember, but my smile was not an invitation. It would've just been something friendly?"

"Ah, okay. So I can't ask you to dance later?"

"I would rather you didn't."

"Really? Can I ask why?"

"I'm not interested. Thank you, though." He sighed, letting the conversation drop between us.

Shortly after expressing my disinterest, I was able to order each of us Ginger Ale before heading back to the table. Despite the innocence behind our conversation, as I walked up to our 8-top table, I could sense Jade's frustration.

"Ginger Ale for you." I kissed her sweetly as I set it down.

"Thanks…" she was short.

Picking up her soda, she poured some of the flask into the cup and then swirled it around. She pursed her lips as she looked back over at me.

"So, you're not going to tell me what that was?" She asked after a further pause.

"What _what_ was, Jade?"

"That guy you were talking to in line."

"Oh, Andrew?"

"Huh!" she jested, "You know his name!"

"Well, he introduced himself to me? I really don't see where this is going…"

She took another swig, "So you're telling me that he didn't just try to come on to you."

"I haven't told you anything about it, Jade. It was just a conversation. He asked if I would dance with him – "

She stood up, throwing her arms as she walked away, "There we go!"

My heart was racing as she paced around to the hallway toward the restroom. I couldn't comprehend how quickly a simple conversation had gone from fine to terrible. She stopped against a wall near the back corner, staring at the floor.

"I told him, 'No.' It's as simple as that."

"So, he's not your type at all?"

"I can't believe that we are having this conversation. Could you at least look at me while you're spouting off nonsense?"

After sighing, she raised her head to meet me. Her deep-set eyes were distinguished through her makeup tonight. Their color as deep as the gemstone of her name, but their pain screamed something more profound. Her eyebrows were hardened downward in place as though visibly injured simply through my words. And for as deeply as my eyes searched for understanding, her eyes were searching my soul right back. She had been hurt by me, without me even throwing a blow.

"He's your type, Vega?" she raised her eyebrow as she asked.

"He was handsome, yes. But isn't it obvious that you are my type?"

Silence.

"Jade. I can tell you until I run out of breath that I am in this relationship for you and for you only. I don't even know who Andrew is, but this is too much."

"It's a gut reaction. I told you I get insanely jealous."

"Accusing me of something before speaking calmly to me and then just storming away is not okay and never will be okay. We have to be able to sit together and talk shit like this out." Jade sighed against the wall while continuing to make eye contact. "You do know that men are going to speak to me, right? Every day of my life, men talk to me."

"No, I know."

"This is some trust thing that I don't understand then, Jade. I am here _with_ you."

"I know."

"I am dedicated to you."

"I know."

"Then, what is this? Please, help me get it."

"Seeing other people interested in you, even having to share our relationship with my family today. It makes me feel like I'm replaceable."

"Replaceable?" My frustration dropped as my hand instinctively reached up to her face to trace her jaw.

"I mean, Vega, it's no surprise that my last girlfriend left me because I wasn't good enough for her. I'm just trying to figure out what that is for you."

"I'm not your last girlfriend, but this over the top reaction is not good enough for me. It's not good enough for anyone, Jade."

"Okay. I fucked up."

I enveloped her hands in my own to lift them up to my lips to give them a brief kiss, "You didn't fuck up. We're learning this relationship together, but please hear me when I say that I will forever be upfront with you. Like any other person in this world, I'm going to keep having conversations with people other than you. But unlike anyone else in this world, my heart will remain yours and yours alone. You don't have to worry about that, Jade. You are more than enough for me, and you were enough from the moment I met you. I had no idea that my speaking to him would set off something inside of you."

"I'm sorry that I didn't react more sensibly."

"We're moving forward. Let's go enjoy ourselves and get ready for tonight. Okay?"

She smiled into me as we briefly kissed before going back into the ballroom for the reception. Soon after dinner, Jade pulled me onto the dance floor as a slow song after the bride and groom's first dance was just beginning. Her hands found their way around my waist as mine slinked behind her neck, getting as close as possible while still looking directly into each other's eyes.

"I'm sorry," Jade whispered a few seconds into the beat. "I think I'm just a little overwhelmed with today. You know, I was talking to my Uncle Steven when you went to the restroom earlier and was trying to capture us in a few words for him."

"Are you drunk?" I asked, realizing that her cadence was beginning to extend far past her usual.

"Maybe a little, but let me tell the story." I rolled my eyes as she continued, "So, I was talking to him describing you and everything that makes you, you. You know?"

"I think so?"

"I tried to capture your beauty in my words. Like how your hair shapes your face idyllically and how your eyes light up any room you enter. Or how you seem to meet me perfectly in every moment when I need it most. And those descriptions are pretty good, but I still am amazed by you multiple times a day."

I tucked my head into her chest, "That's adorable but unnecessary."

"But it's true, Vega. I didn't get it until I was talking to him. But I try to describe your face, your beauty, your meaning to me. And I realized that I'd need a whole new vocabulary to capture you. I see you and lose all words and ideals and memory. You astound me."

"You have to be drunk right now."

She put one finger up to my lips, "Maybe I am, but I'm still telling you the truth. I don't know how I'm this lucky."

"Thank you, Jade. I think I'm pretty lucky too."

"Of course, I'm a catch! But we can't let that take away from you at all, Vega."

Bringing myself closer to her lips, I whispered, "I'm just so happy that your self-confidence isn't dampened by alcohol."

"No, not all. In fact, I think we should go soon."

"Really?" I asked, my eyebrows raised, "It's barely 8:30; they haven't even cut the cake yet."

"Can we get the cake to-go?"

"To-go? I can check for you."

Jade hopped giddily as she kissed me goodbye. "Please do that. I'm going to go to the room and get ready for you. Bring the cake, please."

On my new-found mission for to-go boxes in a wedding venue, I kept bumping into West family members whom I had already met who, in turn, wanted to introduce me to someone else. Not in my nature to decline or ignore others, it took me at least 10 minutes longer than I had intended to take to make my way back up to the 8th floor. Despite the extended time-lapse, I had yet to receive a text from or, better yet, a photo of Jade waiting in our room.

Apprehensively entering, I questioned, "Jade? I got the cake. One chocolate and one carrot cake piece… Jade?"

The room was eerily silent as I walked through the living room traipsing toward the bedroom, where I found a still incredibly cute, but also incredibly passed out Jade West. She had herself sprawled across the mattress while on the pillows at the top of her bed. Still fully dressed, she appeared simultaneously at ease and intensely uncomfortable.

I moved her feet to my left as I sat on the side of the bed next to her, "Sweetheart, I brought cake. Are you alright?"

"Vega?" she asked, attempting to perk up, "I think I fucked up."

"How'd you fuck up?"

"Too much Fireball. I was supposed to be naked by now."

I laughed while placing my hand against her side, "I don't think being naked is happening tonight."

She groaned, "Noo! Why not?"

"I know this is going to be hard to hear, but I don't take advantage of drunk people."

"That's very noble of you… But where's the cake? That'll get me undrunk."

"Potentially. But would you rather sleep or eat cake?"

"So, sleep with you is no longer an option?"

"Technically, you will be, but I guess the better description would be sleeping next to me."

She sighed, eyes still closed, "This is bullshit, Tori. I'm giving consent right now. Can't you tell?" she laughed at her poor taste. "Sorry. What were my options again?"

"Cake or sleep?"

"Probably sleep then."

"That sounds perfect. We can have cake for breakfast." I reassured her while placing the two tins into the fridge, "Jade, do we want to stay in your dress to sleep?"

"Probably not."

"Okay. Do you want to change then?""

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

"Thank God you're such a polite drunk. I'll be sure to add it to my journal." I faced back toward the bed, seeing Jade puckering her lips from her lying down position. I walked over, kissing her tenderly, "I'm going to get ready for bed now, okay? Sleep tight. I'll be right back."

After taking all of my makeup off and rationalizing the fact that I was not getting laid tonight, I walked back out into the room to tuck us both in. It took much more finesse that one might think. Still, as I wrapped my arms around her for the night and placed a kiss on her cheek, I knew she was grateful for being under the covers. Unlike her usual sleeping patterns, though, shortly after I dozed, Jade began moving. Tossing back and forth from one side to the other before groaning awake and sitting up next to me.

"Tor? Tori?" she asked to the open room. "Where's a trashcan?"

"A trashc – oh, fuck." I shot out of bed to dive under the desk on the other wall to grab the trashcan and place it underneath Jade's chin moments before she began dispelling.

After a few moments, she stood from the bed and ambled to the restroom before plopping down onto the floor.

"Jade? Do you want me in there?" I hesitantly posed in my girlfriend's direction.

When I heard nothing, I decided to go against my better judgment and follow her lead. Grabbing a ponytail off of the countertop, I wrapped her hair into a bun. I sat down next to her during a pause, scratching her back through her dress.

"Thank you for helping me even while I'm disgusting."

"Of course… I brought a makeup wipe down here with me. Do you want me to help you take your makeup off while we wait for the next round?"

She nodded while placing her chin on her forearm to prop herself up barely. As I used the makeup wipe, I finally understood what she had meant earlier. Of course, there were millions of words I could use to describe the delicate perfection sitting in front of me. But what use were those words when words would never come close to feelings I felt wiping makeup off her face at 10:30 pm as her messy bun struggled to stay in place atop her head. Words would never capture the radiance of her beauty when I hadn't seen her in a day. Words were pointless as far as she was concerned. I leaned forward, kissing her forehead as I wiped the last remnants from her eyelid.

She opened her eyes as her hand connected with mine in my lap, "I love you. I was going to tell you tonight anyway before this whole shenanigan took place. But especially after this, and you being you right now, there's no doubt in my mind. I love you."

My thumb grazed just below her eye as I held her face in my hand, "I love you, too. And I really wish you weren't vomiting right now so that I kiss you right now."

"Oh, you should feel how I feel about that right now, Vega."

"That's penance enough for me then. You can make up for all of that tomorrow."

"_I_ can?" she questioned facetiously, reopening her eyes.

"I certainly have nothing to make up for after all of this catering to you tonight."

"Valid…" she mumbled before turning her back into the toilet bowl.

Despite it not being how I had intended the night on going, sitting on that marble floor was the only place I could see myself as I helped Jade during her time of need. No matter how off-putting this whole scenario could have been, I couldn't imagine myself anywhere else. I was meant to take care of her. I was the person meant to hold her. I was meant to be the person, who despite it all, stuck around for her forever.

I was the person who knew that no matter what, Jade West could never be replaced.

* * *

**A/N: Hope y'all love this little mush of a chapter. I'm enjoying the lack of pressure writing this story takes, so I hope you all are enjoying it. **

**Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**See you next week,**

**\- secretpen28**


	8. Safe In The Palm Of Your Hands

**A/N: I thoroughly appreciate all of the feedback and support. I'm happy that you all are content with a cute lil fluff story that I'm sure will have some more drama as time goes along. For now though, I'm quite enjoying watching these two be content and in love. I hope you are too :)**

**Chapter Song Title: Home - Catie Turner "I wonder how it feels to be _safe in the palm of your hands._/ And I just want to go home./ Home."**

* * *

Days after our weekend excursion to San Diego, I found myself unable to move from my bed. If the chills and body aches weren't enough to paralyze me, the raging fever certainly did me in. I had warned Jade the night before that I wasn't feeling my best when I got home, but both of us brushed it off to simply having an eventful weekend.

Despite her uncle's wedding not going according to our plans, per se, it had led to something far more intimate. Saying 'I love you' for the first time over the glow of a porcelain toilet bowl may not scream romantic for most. But for the two of us, it was a shining metaphor. Finding the good in every bad. Supporting one another even when deemed to be inconvenient. Putting someone else before yourself.

Halfway through the night, I rolled over to turn off my alarm. Even in the trenches of my dream, I knew that my fever was rising. Pulling the covers over my head, I groaned at the thought of the sun seeping through my blinds in a few short hours. As I drifted back off to sleep, I silently prayed that its rays would avert themselves from my windows out of respect. When my mother walked through my door 30 minutes after my alarm was meant to ring, she was met with only a semblance of myself. It took one swift look into my eyes and a delicate touch of her fingertips against my forehead to realize that I wasn't attempting a skip day. Instead, I was seriously going through it.

I woke up close to three hours later, from the feeling of my fever finally breaking. My teeth chattering within my skull sent chills down my spine until they radiated from my extremities. I turned to my side to grab my phone off my nightstand, only to find that my girlfriend was thoroughly freaking out on me.

_**TXT: Were you planning on missing first period this morning, Vega? Saving your seat, as always. See you soon?**_

* * *

_**MISSED CALL**_

* * *

_**TXT: You alright? You didn't pick up my phone call during passing period. Text me back, please.**_

* * *

_**VOICEMAIL: "Vega. It's incredibly ill-suited of you to leave me to wander through the school day not knowing where my girlfriend is. People keep asking if I'm okay… I don't know how to answer because I'm not sure if I'm okay if I don't know if you are. Does that make any sense? Should I call your mom? Is that too far? I'm rambling. Call me."**_

* * *

_**VOICEMAIL: "Your mom didn't answer either. I left a message, but if I don't hear from you in the next hour, I'm coming over during lunch. I don't even have a key, so just a heads up that I'm not paying for whatever window I have to break to make sure you're alright… Wait. Didn't you say something about feeling bad last night? Maybe that's it? I'm spiraling. Please let me know what's up. I love you. Oh, this is Jade, by the way. Of course, she knows it's you. Ugh, so dumb… Okay. Bye."**_

* * *

_**TXT: 15 MINUTES UNTIL I HEAD THAT WAY! YOU BETTER NOT BE DEAD! THAT'D BE SUPER INCONVENIENT FOR ME!**_

I laughed through the pain as I picked up my phone to call my paranoid girlfriend. She picked up in a huff as I heard a car door slamming in the background.

"This better be a fucking ransom call, or you can tell my girlfriend to hang up the damn phone!"

"Jade, it's me. I just slept in. I'm running a fever."

"And you couldn't text me to tell me that? I've actually been freaking out over here."

"I can tell, and I'm sorry, but I'm okay. There's no need to come over here in the middle of the day, okay?"

Jade sighed through the phone, "Fuck. It's actually super cringe-worthy that I panicked so badly."

Through my closed eyes and pulsing headache, I replied, "If it makes you feel any better, I think it's pretty fucking cute. Your voicemails made me laugh too."

"I'm so pleased that my self-induced panic is adorable to you. Are you alright, though?"

"Mhm-hm. My mom texted me saying that she brought some Gatorades and stuff from the store for me, and there's a cold and flu pill sitting here with some water next to me. So, I'll survive."

"Sounds good. I'll see you in a few hours then?" she asked a question but phrased it more as a statement.

"Jade, I'm sick."

"We've already made it through that part. You're running a fever. You need Gatorade. You think my anxiety is quote-unquote 'fucking cute.' I've been here through the conversation, Vega."

"Okay… but I'm probably contagious. You don't need to come over."

"I do know that it's been years since I've dated anyone, but this feels like a test. A test that I am determined to pass! I have to run back to lunch to make sure that Cat and Robbie actually got me the sandwich I wanted. I love you. Get some rest, beautiful."

"Love you, too…" I trailed off as I heard the phone click over to silence.

The rest of the afternoon seemed to drag on. I attempted to turn on a season of Love Island but grew tired of the typical girl chases after boy trope portrayed. I nearly crawled downstairs to heat up some soup and grab a Gatorade before breaking my mother's "no food upstairs" rule for my own sanity. I grabbed the thermometer from my bathroom, impulsively taking my temperature. Subconsciously tracking how it ebbed and flowed every 15 to 30 minutes as if at any moment, I was bound to take a turn for the worse.

The hours passed from one to two to three, until it was nearly four and Jade still hadn't shown up like she had stated. On one of my rare trips downstairs right around the time of dismissal, I made sure the door was open and shot off a text to Jade.

_**TXT: Hey Jade. Just unlocked the front door. I'll try not to be asleep when you get here, but I can't make any promises.**_

She cascaded through my bedroom door closer to 4:30, out of breath and remorseful.

"I'm sorry it took so long. I just, well…" her voice faded as my head turned toward my door. Jade stood in front of me with her arms almost entirely full of random items. "I went to CVS, but then worried that I hadn't been intentional enough, so I ran to Target. But I made the dreaded mistake of entering that place without a shopping list, so I found so many things that I thought might help. I don't know. I've been in a state of panic all day, and I guess I carried that with me through the stores. And I didn't know if you had a more of a cold, or if it was the flu, or… are you vomiting? I didn't even ask what your symptoms are and so I –"

"Jade?" I asked, interrupting her train of thought as I sat up in my bed, patting the comforter in front of me, "Take a load off. Put everything down, and then you can talk me through your train of thought."

She sat down to my right and immediately leaned over to give me a kiss, delicately keeping her left hand on the side of my face as she pulled away, "I missed you today."

"I missed you too. Are you sure you're okay with getting sick?"

"Oh, pfft." She shooed my concern away with her hand, "I have an immune system of gold."

"Like this weekend with the Fireball?" I jested.

"That was a fluke. I still have such remorse for you having to take care of me."

"Which is why you did all of this, I'm guessing?"

"In part. But I figured that you might need a smile after being alone all day. And what better way to do that than with some gifts?" I rolled my eyes as I reached my hand out to hold hers. "So a lot of the indecision comes from the fact that I haven't asked the right questions yet, I guess? Like, I have no idea what your favorite flower is."

"Tulip, I guess?"

"Okay, well I got you roses to be safe. And then I wasn't sure if your mom would be cool with borrowing stuff from her kitchen, so I got you a new vase." She spoke rushed as she pulled out both a dozen red roses and a classic glass vase for them. I placed my head in my other hand as I stared at her endearingly. "Can I fill this up? Is that okay?"

I nodded while her clunky boots made their way around my bed to my bathroom, adding water to the vase before walking back to my bedside. "I had them cut the stems to 45 degrees; my mom always told me that helped with their water intake. I bought some extra plant food for them in these little packets somewhere, so you'll just have to add those once a day. Unless you need me to come over and do it! I can talk to my dad about arranging a time for that after school before I go to relieve Nadia."

"Breathe for me, please." I mumbled in her direction while she was looking down, scrounging through bags, "Look at me, Jade. I love you." I paused, breaking into a smile. The realization of our feelings still not fully internally processed. "And I love that you are taking this time to spoil me, but don't bring whatever anxiety you're having right now into this, okay? Nothing about this should be anxiety-inducing for you. Leave today at the door. Be here. With me."

Jade nodded in my direction, placing a short kiss against the back of my left hand as she continued pulling for some knick-knacks from her bag. "I got you this holder to keep your drinks cold up here just in case you fall asleep right after grabbing something to drink, so it doesn't get too warm. I found some medication specifically for a cold and different stuff for the flu, so you can pick what would work best. I could tell your nose was a little sniffly earlier, so I jumped when I found these Kleenex that have Vicks Vapo Rub in them to clear your stuffy nose. Ooh, and I got this really fancy nose cleaner from CVS. You can put water up here and push these buttons, and they run the water through your nasal passages, and it clears them out into this bottom container here. But then I was reading the directions on the back, and you can only use distilled water, so I grabbed a gallon of that."

I fell back against the bed, laughing at the level of detail Jade was going through to ensure that every aspect of my sickness was addressed.

"What? Did I forget something?"

"Not at all. I'm cracking up because you don't even realize how adorable you are, do you?"

She looked at me perplexed as a smile began to form across her face. "I guess not…"

"Do you know that literally no one would typically go to this extent for their significant other? Sure they'd bring medicine and flowers or whatever. But Jade, this is a full-fledged vase and a gallon of water? You're amazing."

"It's not too much?"

"Oh, it's way too much, but it's far too cute for me to harp on right now."

"So you like it? I thought it might be overwhelming because you've taken care of me so much already. This is the first time I've been able to really return the favor, you know?" She smirked while placing arm to the left of my hip as she began leaning of my body still resting on my pillow.

Grabbing the collar of her t-shirt, I brought her inches from my face while our smiles glowed, "You know you returned the favor the morning after the wedding, babe... Thank you." I kissed her cheek before pulling away again, "Double-checking? You're cool with getting sick?"

Jade nodded against my lips as her right hand cupped the side of my face. My hands instantaneous scoured her torso, pulling her body further up the bed until her legs laid between mine. My fingers gripped her sides yearning for connection from our day apart.

She paused with her lips against my cheek as she began speaking again, already out of breath, "My boots. On the bed?"

"It's fine," I mumbled back, sliding my hand to hold on to her forearm, pulling my body up toward hers off the bed.

As Jade tenderly kissed my lips, her fingers danced below my pajama top. Her thumb swirled over my hip bone while her own hips hesitantly ground against my own. I placed the palm of her hand over my own, dragging it up from the bottom of my shirt, giving her permission to continue. Gasping into her mouth as she caressed my bare chest, Jade simultaneously barely bit my bottom lip, which she knew drove me crazy.

"Fuck me," I whispered against her lips, continuing to hold her waist tightly against my body.

"That was my immediate plan, but when is your mom getting home?" she asked, brushing the hair away from my face.

"Probably soon." I groaned, sending Jade to roll immediately to her left to lie next to me.

"I quite like this change-up of you being the sexually frustrated one." she chuckled, placing her hands behind her head.

I swung my right arm so that the back of my hand hit her stomach, "Har-har, Jade. And take your shoes off now. You know they're magnets for bacteria."

She glanced at me sideways as she sat up, "That's why I asked just a minute ago. You said it was fine."

"Which is before I knew that all we were going to do today was make out."

"You're literally running a fever. You can wait a few days, Vega."

Jade maneuvered herself underneath the covers next to me before scooting over to wrap myself in her arms. I sighed as I backed myself up against her tenderly, forming our hands against my chest.

"Tell me about your day."

"I had forgotten how boring school was before you came into my life." I laughed, "No, I'm serious, Vega. There's something about being able to see you between every period that motivates me to focus in class. Today though, my mind was scrambling to figure out what was going on."

"You couldn't find Trina?"

"I was too busy trying to contact you during passing periods that I seriously didn't even think about it. Your mom finally texted me back while I was on my way over here. I don't know why it scared me so much."

"That's my fault. It would've been easy for me to send you a text this morning. I wasn't thinking. Forgive me?" I asked, squeezing her hand still lying against my chest.

"Of course, Tor… I think that I was scared because I've been looking for someone like you for a really long time. Someone that tones me down, but accepts the moments when I do freak out. You give me shit just as much as I give you shit. And you care when not everyone else would. It's scary to have found something in my life that isn't worth losing. Giving you my heart wasn't scary, but it's scary to know that you're holding my heart for safekeeping. And I'm just letting you. Like, you having my heart actually calms me down."

"The being calm part, that's what's scary for you?"

"It's fucking terrifying. I willingly passed the most important thing for survival in this world to you."

I lifted our hands to place them against my lips, "But I did the same thing, Jade. We traded. That's what a relationship is, babe. Taking care of each other's hearts."

"I know. It's a little less terrifying knowing that I have your heart too." A pregnant pause carried between us as I nestled back into her chest, "I've got yours for good, okay?" she whispered before placing a kiss above my ear. "I love you, too."

I barely turned my head as if to face her, laughing, "I didn't say anything."

"I know. But I could feel it."

And she wasn't wrong. Beyond the fever and sore throat and stuffy nose, the only thing else I could feel that afternoon, with her arms wrapped around me, was love.

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**A/N: Feel free to send me any cute couple ideas for them! I would love for this to become a multi-seasoned story that follows them through all walks of life, so even if it's an idea that may not take place until years in the future, feel free to send it in! I can add it to my ever-growing list of ideas for these two. **

**Thanks again for the support. Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**Until next time,**

**secretpen28**


	9. Love And A Hard Place

**A/N: Wanted to get another chapter out before the holidays. It's setting up some developing drama and overall emotional concern that I hope you all appreciate. To answer Boris' question: I'm not sure if this will feature other pairings. I like that idea of the story centering around two characters. But as always, if a particular plot line opens up for other people to be more distinctly introduced, I will be sure to do that. Thanks as always for everyone's support. **

**Chapter Title Song: Hard Place - H.E.R.; "And if I have to choose/my heart or you./I'm gonna lose./What if nothing ever will change?/Oh, I'm caught between your love and a hard place." One of my favorite albums of 2018/19. Check it out; it's a real vibe.**

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The beginning stages of any relationship are filled with the highlights. Days look brighter. Glances are filled with fireworks. Touches provide an igniting flame. Time spent together basks in the glow of new opportunity.

But as the beginning stages of a relationship dim into day to day life, the highlights dim as well. As our first month together drifted into two, we both settled into a routine. For better or worse. We were content. But was it too much for me to ask that we were more than just that? All relationships come with added struggles due to uncontrollable, outside circumstances. For Jade and me, we had the added pressure of one of us having a chronically ill parent. Where more than one day a week, Jade had to drop everything and be a caretaker above anything else. Especially above being my girlfriend.

It felt like a nearly impossible tightrope to manage. Because as much as I wanted to be frustrated or upset that some days all of our plans went to shit, and I quickly fell from first priority to second fiddle. There was no way to be angry at my girlfriend's mother, who, on most days, struggled to remember the day before. There was no way to be upset at Jade, who knew that if positions were switched, her mother would never leave her side.

But the tightrope also plagued us. It made our entire relationship feel like a balancing act. Between our emotional relationship and who were forced to be as individuals. Between our physical relationship and the time constraints of being a caretaker. Between our verbal relationship and the lack of desire to do any talking when we were alone. We craved each other but continued to despise all that kept us apart.

So that Saturday night of solitude almost three months into our relationship felt cherished between our entangled legs on Jade's couch. A brief chill danced through the December air as Jade attempted to catch up on some much-needed sleep against my chest. Preparing for the holiday season meant Mr. West working overtime to take off for nearly a month in December and January. It also meant that Jade's finals season was filled with countless nights of taking care of her mother, while Nadia filled the role while Jade was at school.

Jade had me trapped between the cushion and her chest as she laid flesh on top of me. Having worked out earlier in the day left her in a fitted sports bra and shorts, despite the colder air. Her head tucked into my sternum, while one set of our hands laced at our side. Intimacy trickled through every aspect of her sleeping position. She nuzzled against me frequently, reassuring herself that I hadn't left her side as I found comfort in drawing circles against the dimples in her lower back with my free hand. About an hour into her nap, the monitor to our left began emitting noise.

"Help… I need water." Her mother's voice rang through the living room.

"Jadey?" I whispered against her forehead, "One of us needs to go check on your mom. Are you getting up, or should I?"

Instead of a reply, Jade simply turned her back against the couch, granting me space to move from underneath her. I kissed her lips briefly before turning down the hallway toward her mother's room. More than a dozen times now, I had assisted with her mother's care whenever Jade needed a break. The winter months were especially challenging for Mrs. West as the nip in the air limited her typically graceful movement. It made all of her care that much more hands-on. It made everyone in the West's life step up. Including me.

"Hey, Julia. I heard you in the living room. What do you need?" I asked as I rounded the corner into her bedroom.

Her eyes remained closed while she tried to place my voice, "Don't tell me." She held out her hand, leading to further pause between us, "Victoria?"

"Yes, ma'am. It's me. Jade is asleep right now. You need me to pass you your water?"

"Yes, please." She replied, eyes now opened as I passed her large water jug paired with a straw her way.

"I got thrown off for a moment because when I checked the board earlier, it said that you were out."

I looked over my shoulder at the new addition to Mrs. West's system that Jade had placed a few weeks back. Right next to James, Jade, and Nadia's names was mine. Victoria. A whiteboard underneath that merely had "Be back Sat." written.

"I'll fix it after making sure you're alright. How are you feeling today, though? Other than the thirstiness, that is."

"I'm sore and stiff, but my brain feels pretty good today. I did remember your name, didn't I?"

"You did! I'm always impressed by you, though." I noted as I placed her water back next to her, sitting down in the chair next to her bed.

"I'm impressed by you too, dear. There aren't many people my daughter could've brought home that would've been willing and able to stand by her through this."

"You are the people who made her her. It's only right to respect you both the same way."

"And like I said, that's impressive. It gives me promise that Jade will be taken care of. If that's not too presumptuous."

I chuckled at her Alzheimer-induced bluntness and candor, "It kind of is. We haven't been together too terribly long; we're only 16. But as long as I'm here, I plan on taking care of her."

Ms. West nodded solemnly as she gathered her words, "And, how is she?"

"It's off and on. Her dad being gone so much over the past few weeks, though has been really hard. She can see the benefit of having him home next week, so she's making it through. She's been quiet around me lately. Shut down. She's internalizing something that I don't quite know how to breakthrough."

"Our Jade is as strong as nails. But underneath her steel exterior, she's fragile glass. Be gentle. Be there. Be willing. And she'll open up. My illness and all of this," she paused, drawing her hands all over the room, "This has taken over."

"To use your words, though, this… is only one part of who she is. Your daughter is so much more than your illness and everything that comes with it."

Mrs. West extended her hand, "If that's what she's told you, or if that's what you've grown to believe yourself, you're horribly mistaken. This has riddled every part of our family. There is a piece of this that Jade carries with her into every part of her life. This is inescapable. A chronic illness infiltrates and does not let go. The sooner you realize that this makes Jade who she is right now in every facet of her being, the sooner she'll be able to tell you all about what's really going on."

"Okay… I'll think about that. I just wish that Jade would –"

"Vega?" Jade called from the doorway, "What's going on?

"I asked Victoria about how you were doing. I know that this month has been a lot of you, so I wanted to get a pulse point."

Jade's face appeared unmoving. Her expression rigid and reserved. She was upset, but as she walked closer to her mother's bed, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders, smiling. Before talking to me endearingly, "Tori, can you go up to my bedroom for me? I'll finish up whatever mom needs in here." The tone grated on me. She was moments from explosion.

I nodded before standing up and changing my whiteboard to read: Spending the night Sat. before walking hesitantly upstairs to her expansive room. No less than two minutes later, Jade walked back through the door with her fists clenched as I sat on the bed, none the wiser.

"What the fuck was that, Tor?" She wasn't mad; she didn't yell. But she spat out each word as if my indiscretion was apparent.

I held my hands up in front of my chest as I replied, "Jade. Don't get more upset, but I have no idea what you're talking about."

She sighed, shaking out her hands, "I can't keep doing this." She started pacing in front of the bed, trying to catch her breath as her chest continuously heaved.

I turned toward her, confused, "Do what? Us?"

"No! Of course, not us." she glared at me, "We're fine, aren't we?" Not knowing how to respond at all to Jade's reaction in front of me, I stood staring, waiting for her next caveat, "Fuck… Okay, we'll loop back to that then, I guess. I can't keep explaining every little detail of being a caretaker to you, Vega. There's some shit that you just shouldn't do. Especially with someone who's sick, but also with someone who is the mother of your girlfriend!"

My mind started swirling, not able to place where I had gone wrong. "I'm still lost, Jade."

"Why would you talk about how I'm doing? Why would you tell her that I'm struggling?"

"Because she asked. Because you are. I'm perplexed. Do you not talk to your mom about all of this?"

Jade shook her head as she placed her hands behind her head, trying to still get a good breath, "I can't. Put this on her. I can't. Stress her out more."

I stood up anxiously. Walking over to her, I placed the palms of my hands on her bare abdomen, wrapping my fingers around her waist and holding her at arm's length. I nodded as I spoke, "Okay. I need you to copy how I'm breathing right now, babe. You're hyperventilating. C'mon, let's do this together. I want to feel your diaphragm go in. One. Two. Three. And out. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Keep going. You're alright. Nothing is changing. Life is still together. Everything is okay. We are moving forward. We are talking about it. Rationally, calmly, peacefully. I love you. You're okay."

As her heart rate slowed, the stiffness of her muscles in her shoulders, arms, and face, loosened. I brought my hands up her back, using my fingers to trace up her spine until her shoulder blades were cupped in the palm of my hand. Bringing her body into my arms, I felt her fall into me as she exhaled. Despite being a few inches taller than me, Jade curled into herself as I wrapped myself around her. Her once spaced out-breaths had dwindled into sobs as her nose dug its way into my collarbone.

"Okay, Jadey. It's okay." I replied calmly as she began sinking into her floor. I followed in suit until we both were up against the end of her bed. Jade splayed in my lap and tucked against my chest. "What's going on, sweetheart?" I asked as my fingers swirled around the baby hairs on her neck beneath her ponytail.

"You can't tell her that stuff. I don't want her to carry it."

"I understand. But all I really said was that you were being quiet and not talking to me about what's going on and that you seemed overwhelmed. I don't know how you feel because you won't talk to me about it either."

"I don't want you to carry it either." Her head was rested against my shoulder as she spoke monotonously in reply.

"Jade, you can't carry it alone, though. That's how you end up hyperventilating in the middle of your room. That's how you become so stressed that you clench your entire body so that you don't burst. That's terrifying. It's not healthy."

"It's worked thus far."

"What about what you've done has worked? Shutting yourself off from the rest of the world? Wearing all black to stop people from wanting to be close to you? Displaying your anger on your sleeve?"

"I don't want anyone else to be hurt from this like me, Tori. No one deserves this."

"Thank you for wanting to protect me, but I'm already in this. I'm not going anywhere." Jade's lips lingered against my shoulder as she placed small kisses of appreciation against my skin. "Was it true what your mom said? That Alzheimer's infiltrates every aspect of your life. That it's now inherently a part of who you are."

"Yeah, Vega. It's a silent epidemic. Though my mom's symptoms came on slowly, they also came on all at once. Now, I look for the signs in everyone. I live with the fear that maybe tomorrow you'll simply forget. You stop wanting to build connections so that you don't have to lose them again. So that you're not the one left with their memories in your wake. So that you're not the person responsible for holding their legacy on your shoulders. It's incredibly numbing and painfully isolating."

My thumb trailed up and down the side of her ribcage as I allowed her words to echo through my ears. "That's why you get so scared when it comes to me?"

"You're the first person I've let in in a long time. Holding onto your memories is a privilege."

"But Jade, you're becoming so bogged down in holding it down for everyone, that I'm losing you. Your effervescence. Your candor. I know this month is stressful, but you have to give yourself a little bit of a break."

"It all has to be okay."

"No. It doesn't have to be. What would happen if something happened to not be okay?"

"I'd lose control."

"Of what, sweetheart? What's the worst that could happen if you took a break?"

"I would miss something. I'd miss a remembered memory, or my mom giving you details about me I never knew she could still piece together. And if I miss it, then she will too. During her worst days, I won't be able to sit there are retell her about the good times. I won't be able to recount her lucidity."

"This is too much pressure for you to take on. You're a teenager."

"And she's my mom, Vega. You'd do the same."

Over the monitor in Jade's room, a slight cough started from behind us.

"Speaking of." She quickly stood to adjust her clothes and wipe her eyes before kissing me delicately on the cheek. "It never stops. I'm sorry if you thought stopping would be possible. It just isn't."

As Jade rushed down the stairs, I remained in my seated position at the foot of her bed. She had mentioned coming back to my silence when asking about our relationship, but other things took precedence. Her feelings. Her difficulties. Her pain. Her mom. Always the topic of conversation. Never me. Jade's life never paused for me. Because if it's true that she carries her mom's disease with her always, then even in our quiet moments, the quiet is not for me alone. Our time is always being shared by the haunting reality that something tragic could occur at any moment.

And so the balancing act continued. A constant push and pull between my needs and reality. But like Jade said, 'it never stops.' And with that, I took my concerns. I took my worries and the gulp in my throat, and I shoved them deeper inside of me. Just waiting for their time to come out.

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**A/N: Thanks so much for reading! I hope that you and yours have a great holiday season! I should be able to get a chapter out next week, but if it for some reason doesn't happen, chock it up to the New Year! :)**

**See you all soon. Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.**

**\- secretpen28**


	10. Do It In My Bed

**A/N: Hello all! I hope that everyone's holiday season went well :) I took about a month off to spend time with family, travel, etc. and have spent the past few weeks working on both of my current stories. I try to hold myself to not updating one story without updating the other first and vice versa, which causes some delays, but is what keeps me motivated between the two. This chapter includes some fluff, some juicy sections, and a lot of set up for future chapters! Hope you enjoy!**

**Chapter Song Title: "If You're Gonna Lie" - FLETCHER, "So if you're gonna lie, _do it in my bed./ _If you're gonna lie, make it worth it."**

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The lump in my throat showed no signs of dissipating. Another two weeks passed with me in the background, beginning to fade away in my own relationship. As if somehow I was the first breakthrough in the hardened ground, but slowly became covered with all of the dirt that followed.

Despite feeling myself grow smaller, my feelings for Jade had no choice but to continue to grow. In our small moments, the ones carved out and dedicated for me, Jade was intentional. It was how she paused after talking through some hectic event in each other's days, looked straight into my eyes, saw me for me, and forever replied with, "I love you, too." Our token of understanding that love flowed between us as smoothly as water flowed downstream. I love you's were never necessary because they were always there. Lingering between us in an ever-present dance.

Trying to switch up our routine, I decided that inviting Jade to my family's Christmas tree-picking tradition was the perfect way to get my heartbeat out of my throat. We had to delay plans by a week to ensure that Mr. West was back in time to take care of her mother which gave some assurance that Jade would be able to breathe without being at home. The postponement did bring a welcomed nip in the air that finally required a light jacket. Jade texted moments before arriving at the front door because she hated having to ring our doorbell and make a scene. I understood and happily obliged, sprinting down our staircase at the thought of her impending arrival.

Out of breath, I threw the door open to see my adorable girlfriend on the other side, a leather jacket draped in one arm with a black beanie snuggly fit around her head. I squealed, wrapping her in my arms as she dropped her overnight bag onto our front porch, "It's been 15 hours, Vega…" she muttered through the peppering of kisses she placed on my jawline.

I pulled away, readjusting her beanie lower on her scalp, "I love you, too. Thank you for coming today." My hands found their way to her collarbone as I gripped her shirt lightly, wanting her to feel my appreciation through my grasp.

"Thank you for inviting me. I'm excited to actually pick out a tree, typically one just gets delivered." I rolled my eyes as she laughed, wrapping her arms around my waist as we subconsciously danced in circles around each other.

"I still can't believe you two willingly agreed to subject all of us to this vom-fest." Trina exclaimed from behind me, ultimately forcing me to lose my train of thought from being in Jade's presence.

"Oh hush," My mom replied, "It's not a "vom-fest"; they're just in love. Jade, welcome!"

"Thank you both for letting me crash a family tradition! I'm, uh, appreciative that, uh, you guys trust me enough with these, uh, memories." Her eyes fell to the floor as she tried to get out her thankfulness. I quickly trailed my fingers down her arm to link our hands together, which would hopefully ground her enough to build some confidence.

"Of course, dear." My mom answered, ushering the three of us with her hand toward the back door, "Jade, feel free to leave your bag by the door. It's time to go! Your dad is getting the Suburban out of the garage because we typically don't have this many people with us!"

Settling into the back seat of our SUV, Jade immediately curled herself into my chest, draping my arm around her side, "You okay?" I whispered as her hand settled, clutching the inside of my inner thigh.

"Just a rough morning… I'm happy to be away from it for a day. I'm happy to be with you."

"Okay..." The lump in my throat resettled. There was no escaping it. Never a moment of silence in our relationship. But if there was never a moment of silence for us, there also was never a moment of silence for just her. There was no escaping it, no matter where she went. The lump in my throat faintly faded as I chose comfort over frustration, "Today will be a good escape, Jade."

She nodded against my shoulder and closed her eyes as we drove, attempting to let the morning's events escape the forefront of her mind. The drive was quiet as we made our way out of the city and toward my family's favorite Christmas tree farm less than an hour away.

I held her hand as I delicately helped her get out of the car once we arrived. She giggled at my over-exaggeration of putting her safety first. She placed my chin in the crook of skin between her pointer fingers and thumb as she brought me in for a kiss, "Let's go have a great day, okay?"

I nodded while I felt her pulling me toward my family, who was already 20 feet ahead of us beginning to scout out trees. The cool and well-worn feel of her leather jacket traced down the inside of my arm as she connected our fingers together before continuing our conversation, "So, you're the tree expert, Vega. What are we looking for here?"

"I'd love to say it's scientific, but we need a 7-foot tall pine tree that is alive and green."

Jade facetiously walked toward a tall, green tree with nearly barren limbs and turned back toward me, "We're done here then, right?"

"Shut the fuck up…" I mouthed, turning away from her slowly while grinning.

Her laughter in my ear sent chills through me as she connected our hands once more, "You're too cute when you get flustered."

"Yeah, yeah. Part of the alive bit I was talking about earlier would include it being a fully-developed tree."

"Noted. I think I got it now. So we walk up and down all of these rows until we find your family's perfect tree?"

"Basically, but it's all organized in different sections based on the type of tree, growth time, and other things I don't fully remember from when my dad gave us this same spiel a decade ago. So, we'll stay in this long plot right here, and we don't have to walk behind my family the whole time. We can walk over here to this side or walk length-wise instead. The key thing is that picking a tree is a family decision, so when we think we've found a good one then you –"

The echoing hoot of an owl cascaded through the trees, causing me to immediately fall out into a full sprint. Looking over my shoulder, I watched as Jade's face faded into more and more confusion as she slowly began to follow.

I pointed, yelling as I continued running, "A tree! Someone found a tree!"

Out of breath as I reached Trina, Jade soon followed, refusing to run for a Christmas tree, "Okay. Stay with me here. It's a little tall, but the needles are solid, and it's the perfect height to width ratio."

"How are we getting it through the front door, though? Or setting it up to fit in our living room with our ceiling?"

"I didn't ask for your opinion, Tor." She rebuked.

"That's what today is, Tri. Us offering up trees and getting the other's opinions in return. If you can't tell, I'm a no."

"But, we could trim the trunk!"

"Would that throw off the perfect height to width ratio?" Jade asked in earnest, despite causing Trina to groan and stomp away from the tree. "What was that?"

"Ignore her. As I was saying, when we find a good tree – "

"You hoot like an owl, and then everyone sprints toward the sound?"

"You're such a quick learner." I grinned as my eyes found hers.

Jade blushed, leaning into my side to whisper in my ear, "If that's impressive, wait until you see what I learned for you tonight…"

My lips fell forward, hoping for them to connect. But Jade had already begun to walk away, continuing her pattern of forever teasing me.

"Hey, babe! Come look at this one!" Jade yelled over her shoulder as she entered down a new pathway. Turning the corner, Jade began speaking, "See? It has the right markers for height and seems pretty full. I mean, it's definitely alive… What do you think?"

Linking our hands back together, I kissed her cheek as I replied, "Have I ever told you how much I love you? Like how is it even possible that you talking about pine trees gives me yet another reason to keep you in my life forever?"

"I'm sure it's similar to how often you make me blush, which for a resident Goth, is pretty fucking embarrassing." Jade turned to face me while starting to lean in for a kiss.

As we got within an inch of one another, Jade barely stepped away and began hooting, "Almost forgot the last step!" she smiled before briefly kissing me.

My family gathered around as Jade pled her case, "After some intensive instruction from Professor Vega over here –" Trina scoffed next to us while Jade plowed through her frustration, " – I think this tree has everything we've been looking for. It has a sturdy base, full branches, and it may be a little shorter than 7 feet, but at least then we know that it will for sure fit through the door."

Jade looked around the circle expectantly as my mom started speaking, "Well, you guys know the drill, we are a democracy. Those in favor of this tree, raise your hand." Everyone but Trina's hand lifted.

"Oh, come on!" she stomped next to us, "It's been years since my trees have been picked!"

"I'm sure it was just beginner's luck?" Jade tried to shrug off her commentary.

"Or you suck at it just as much as you have the past decade of our life!" I muttered her way while stalking off.

Trina continued to mope while my family worked on securing the tree to the roof of our car. Continuing the time-honored tradition, we had a brief pause in our day as my mom and dad struggled to get the tree inside and situate it in the alcove by the stairs. Once affixed to both its stand and the permanent screw in the wall to hold our trees sturdily, we finally had permission to begin decorating. Despite working furiously to get the lights, ornaments, and decorations perfect, I caught myself more than a few times staring in awe at my girlfriend. Her eyes shared a glimmer of fascination and appreciation between them. She appeared to dance around the tree as she meticulously worked to respect my family's overall image for the tree, while also adding her own flair. There was something special about how she asked people questions. An everyday inquiry from Jade felt like a personal mission to connect, never intrude. After about an hour, the four of us stood back from the tree while my dad turned on the switch to light up our hard work. Jade's sigh next to me encapsulated her every notion. Today had been peaceful for her like nothing else in her life had been or could be. I could tell she had so much she wanted to say but was holding herself back in front of my family. With that looming in the back of my mind, I waited until we were finished with our pizza dinner before suggesting that we go upstairs to get settled for the night.

With her overnight bag in tow, Jade promptly kicked off her boots as soon as we stepped through the threshold of my bedroom before flinging herself backward onto my bed. I followed in a shorter stride around the bed to lie down next to her, "Talk to me." I could feel her thoughts bursting at the seams.

"I loved today, don't get me wrong. I mean, being with your family with all of your little nuances but overflowing love is exactly what I needed after this morning. But it also fucking sucks. It's so hard to not be jealous or envious of the role you get to play in your home. Like your mom picked up the phone tonight to order pizza and was able to walk to the door, calculate the tip on the fly and serve each of us our slices at the table. I'm envious of that. I see her eyes light up when she looks at you because just your sight sends a cascade of memories in her direction. I could only dream of that now. It's just so conflicting, Vega. Because even though I'm so happy that you have a functional and loving and adorable family –"

" – a part of you wishes it was yours."

"Isn't that fucking terrible?" she asked, turning toward me for the first time since she started rambling.

"I wouldn't think so. I can only assume that it's fairly normal. If it helps at all, sometimes I feel the same way about your family. The way you show love to each other is extraordinary. It's a part of each of you innately. You love your parents without qualm; I have to work to love Trina."

"I think that's a Trina problem, not a you problem." She laughed, wrapping a finger in my loosening ringlet waves. "Thanks again for today."

I sighed, "Of course. I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else, Jade."

She kissed my nose as she rolled out of bed to walk back to her bag. But after taking three steps in that direction, she turned on her heel, "Wait. What was that sigh?"

Sitting up, I replied, "What are you talking about?" I swept my hair to the side nervously as the lump in my throat forced its way back to the surface.

"I said, 'Thanks for today.' and your first instinct was to sigh." She pointed her finger as if catching me in the act.

"No? I said, 'Of course.'"

She shook her head while continuing to come to the end of the bed directly in front of me, "Nope. First, you sighed. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." I reassured, spinning myself to the right to try and get off the bed, "Really." I paused, looking Jade right in the eye, trying to sell my lie with every ounce of my life. The lump could stay. It wasn't time.

"Fine… I trust you." She placed both of her hands on either side of my face before kissing me gently on my forehead.

I continued to sit on the side of my bed as Jade brought her bag into the bathroom. I had sold it, right? But if that were the case, why was the lump in my throat growing? It twirled in the back of my throat, taking each gasp of air to fuel its fire. She said she trusted me. Fuck. She trusts me, and I lied straight to her face. I tucked my hands behind my kneecaps, forming myself into an even smaller frame to take up less space. Maybe if I made myself smaller, this issue would become smaller too. I hovered between anxious and guilty for the next few minutes before realizing that Jade had been in the bathroom for quite a long time.

"Jadey?" I asked into the silence that had been flooding my room for who knows how long. Spinning myself to face my bathroom door once again, my jaw dropped as it opened.

Wearing a red lace bra and underwear ensemble, Jade sauntered out of my bathroom as if I should've been expecting her beauty. Her high waisted thong shaped the curve of her ivory hips as the matching push-up bra left little to my imagination with her walking right toward me. She kept her bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she spread my legs apart, sitting down on my left thigh before my head could even process her presence. Her thumb pulled at my bottom lip as she met me in a passion-fueled kiss, only stopped by her continuation toward my jawline. Kissing and licking her way toward my ear, she paused moments from the nape of my neck just below my earlobe, which she knew made me weak.

Out of breath already, I pleaded, "Keep going, please."

"Remember how I told you that I learned something for you tonight… You're going to have to earn it, babe. Tell me again."

"Keep going," I whispered.

"No." she pulled back, looking in my eye again, "Tell me nothing's going on with you. Say it again."

"Jade…"

Her voice dropped to a whisper, "Lie to me again, and I stop. Understood?" I nodded as she continued, "Vega? What was that sigh?"

Her emerald eyes hit mine differently this time. They were filled with lust and desire and heart-wrenching pain. "You never came back to it."

Jade's lips went back to my neck just below my ear as she kept talking, "Came back to what?"

"A few weeks ago, we were in your room, and you were kind of angry at me for talking to your mom about how you were." She vocalized in agreement, telling me to continue. "And after some miscommunication, you asked if we were okay… I didn't respond, and you said we'd come back to it."

My brain was swimming in the feeling on her on top of me. Every inch of me wanted to touch her even though her hands pinned down my own. I sought to tease her as she was teasing me, to replicate the pounding in my heart and the exhalation screaming to leave my throat. And that's when I realized it. There was no longer a lump.

She leaned back and placed her fingertips at the bottom seam of my shirt before asking, "You're right; I forgot to. Are we okay?" Her thumbs traced my hip bones, waiting for my reply.

All I could muster was a head shake 'no' before Jade ushered herself off my lap and walked to my bedroom door to lock it. "I'd hate for your parents to walk in on us chatting casually with me in this number." She sat back on the bed with her hands in her lap, "Why aren't we okay, Vega?"

My head was permanently fixated on my comforter. I couldn't hurt her. "Tori, I'm not mad at you. We have to talk about this. You've already been holding on to this for what, two weeks?" She scooted closer to me, pulling at my legs with her fingertips to try and get me to turn and face her. "Talk to me." She repeated my own words back to me.

"I can't say it without coming off like a selfish asshole."

"That doesn't matter. Whatever you're feeling right now is valid. But if this is bothering you enough to lie to me about it, we have to talk about it."

I sighed once more as I rotated her direction. Placing my fingers on her crisscrossed calves, I started speaking, "I love you. It's just getting hard for me to figure out where I fit into your life. Like I've brought up personal concerns with my daily life multiple times, and it always seems like something else is more important."

"Can you give me an example?" she asked, sincerely.

"Like you see me as an escape for how hectic your life is at home, but sometimes, you're my escape too. And when we're together, just us, we only talk about how hard your life is. Every day is a rough day. Every conversation of ours can be interrupted by something your mom needs. Every moment that might be special between us could end in an instant because my every moment with you is shared. And like, I know that won't change really. I know that you have to be there for your family, and I don't fault you for that. I just wish that there were moments of our relationship that were really and truly only us. I wish that you were able to get out of everything that makes your head go a million miles a minute and be here. With me. I want there to be moments where I am what's most important. It's selfish, but I want you to sometimes only be thinking of me. When you're with me, I want you to want me and me alone. Because I do the same for you. When I'm with you, you are the most important thing. I only think of you. And I know you don't do the same."

"Okay…" she paused, quickly getting off the bed and walking back into the restroom.

"Jade, I told you I'd sound like an asshole." I ran my hands through my hair, "I'm sorry, okay? I can get over it. I know that I'm not going –"

"Stop for a second, Tor." Jade interrupted as she walked back into the room, still in her same outfit, now holding her phone in her hand. "Watch." And as if it were the most simple thing in the world, she held the power button on the side of her phone and turned it completely off before setting it on my bedside table behind her. "There's no reason to be sorry, and there is nothing that you need to get over. I understand."

"Really?"

She laughed, "Of course, really." Guiding me into her arms, she had me turn to lay against her chest while we both sat against her headboard. She paused as I got comfortable underneath her touch, "You're not an asshole for wanting to feel wanted. I'm so sorry you felt that way for even a second. And you're right, I'm not always here with you. Sometimes my life is really fucking overwhelming, and my time with you is split. But I also have to make a better effort. This past month has sucked for you too, hasn't it?"

"Definitely. I nearly screamed with excitement when I found out your dad was finally back."

"Would it have involved an owl hoot?" she joked.

"Oh, lay off. You did it too! You know you enjoyed it."

"So much more than you even realize… I wouldn't owl hoot for just anyone and their family."

Absentmindedly drawing hearts on her upper thigh, I replied, "What a travesty it would've been to Jade West's name if someone had seen you owl hooting today!"

She tightened her grip on my arms, "I simply would've had to let them know that my girlfriend's family was rubbing off on me."

"You wouldn't have threatened them?" I gasped jokingly.

"That'd be the second tactic."

"So you wouldn't threaten them like you just threatened me." I smiled up at her.

She chuckled, kissing my forehead, "That was different."

"How so?"

"You lied to me! To my face! And that threat was in the name of love."

"The name of love? You think you're so sly, don't you?"

"Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah, you scared the shit out of me. Congratulations."

She placed her pointer finger under my chin, pulling me in for a kiss, "I love you, too. Are we okay?" I nodded as we faded into comfortability.

"Wait. Have you been carrying around this lingerie to harass me with the first time you caught me in a lie?"

"You have too much faith in my antics. I'm not that cunning!" Her thumbs found their way back to my hip bones before she continued, "I wasn't lying earlier… I did actually learn something for you tonight."

I turned to reply to her when I felt the force her body flip herself on top of me, straddling either side of my knees before I could adjust my hands. Her right hand began lifting my top toward my upper torso as her lips grazed over my stomach, and her left hand focused on undoing my pants. As she leisurely worked at getting me undressed, Jade came back up toward my lips for a faint kiss before whispering.

"And if you had any doubt, I want _you_. I always only want you."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you all liked it! Loved the idea of Jade using her manipulation for maybe (?) a little bit of good? You be the judge! See you all next time! **

**Also, if you're looking for another story with more drama and more of a deeply threaded plot line, please go check out the other story I'm currently writing _Needs, Wants, Desires, and Dreams_ which is set in the Pretty Little Liars universe. You truly don't need to know much of anything about the characters from the TV show if you didn't initially watch. It's truly one of my favorite things I've ever written :)**

**As always, Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along. **

**Until the next one!**

**\- secretpen28**


	11. Dreams You Left Behind

**A/N: Oh, hey there! Got inspired this week to write for these two, which is how I assume this story is going to go. I plan on this being a place for me to continue their journey a little by little whenever I am inspired. Anyway, here's a close to 5,000 word chapter to thank you for your patience and kindness. **

**Chapter Title: "Amnesia" - 5 Seconds of Summer, "The _dreams you left behind_ you didn't need them/ Like every single wish we ever made."**

* * *

In the week leading up to Christmas, Jade's demeanor around me completed changed. As soon as she arrived to pick me up for a date or hang out afterschool, she called Nadia or her father to let them know she was safe, what time she would be home, and then… she turned her phone off without even thinking twice about it. The same was true for Christmas Eve when Jade came by to help bake some desserts for the next day. Slipping her phone into her purse by the front door, she skipped to the kitchen in order to see me, virtually ignoring Trina who was still holding open the door.

She produced a light squeal wrapping her arms around me, "Hi there, gorgeous."

"Try to do one nice thing and receive no recognition for it..." Trina muttered behind her, rolling her eyes as I smiled into Jade's neck.

Jade's head snapped back to face her, before putting on her best fake high-pitched voice, "Oh my God, Trina. I'm like, so sorry." She walked back over to my sister, wrapping her in an uncomfortably tight hug. "How dare I ignore your sweeping gesture of acceptance into your home?"

"Ugh. Nevermind, I lied. No recognition is needed." Trina pushed her shoulder with her right hand trying to distance herself from my girlfriend. She looked up to see me bowled over laughing at Jade's charade. "Of course, you find my discomfort hysterical, Tor. Please. Let. Go."

Jade released her grip, chuckling into her hand as she watched Trina go upstairs without another word. "Too far?"

I walked back over to her, lacing my fingers around her neck, "Personally, I would say that it's not far enough…"

"Mmm" she sighed, bringing me in for a kiss. Her hand lingered on my cheek as she pulled away before twirling a strand of her hair around her finger, "So, like, I need to talk like this to my girlfriend more often?"

"No, no. That's not what I said." I backed away immediately.

"You're trying to tell me that this voice doesn't do it for you?" she continued, sauntering toward me as I escaped for the kitchen, attempting to hide behind the counter.

"Jade? Jadey?" I tried to remain serious though short laughs were still escaping my lips. "The blue hair and piercings really don't fit."

'So, you wouldn't like still love me if I talked like your sister all the time?" she caught ahold of the back of my Christmas sweater as I tried to run away from her once again. Spinning me around, Jade kissed my cheek before resettling into her actual voice, "Okay, okay. I'll stop."

"Thank you." I whispered, finally looking at her overall outfit. "I love that you stayed true to theme, babe."

She took a step back, rotating slowly in front of me in jeans and a sweater with Jesus and Santa riding on a bicycle together on the front. It was a stark departure from her usual black attire, now completely covered in green and red. "You like? I went to the mall yesterday and found the most polarizing outfit I could."

I smirked up at her, opening my eyes to take her clothes fully in. Due to the material of the sweater, it hugged her curves with purpose, sending the shivers down my spine into overdrive. "I mean, you look hot as hell. And you willingly changed your entire typical dress code just for me?"

"Hot as hell? Maybe I should be openly whipped for my girlfriend more often." she retorted, slinking her hands down her sides, stopping intentionally over her chest and waist for emphasis.

"Whipped? Does that need to go into the notebook?" I beamed.

"You can add whatever you'd like, Vega. But don't sell yourself short. I mean, have you seen how remarkable you look today?"

I looked down at my own sweater adorned with sparkly pom-poms covering a stitched Christmas tree and could only laugh. In comparison to the woman in front of me, my childlike attire paled in comparison. "You're fucking with me, right?"

"You look so adorable today. What are you talking about?"

"So you look hot as hell, but I only look adorable?" I gave her a side-eye as I began looking over the cookie recipe my mom left for us.

"Tor…" she poked my side, "Just because I said adorable doesn't mean that you don't always look sexy." I turned my back to her as she immediately reached for my waist, "I meant it in the most sincere way, sweetheart. Come on," She paused as her hands remained on my hips, her lips kissed down the nape of my neck to my shoulder. "Turn around for me."

I refused to rotate which caused Jade to move in front of me, her finger pulling up my chin to make eye contact, "Please don't let one throw away statement impact today. Do I really need to reiterate how sexy I find you when you literally rocked my world three days ago?" Her comment made me laugh without a second thought, "There she is… Tori, I love you." She said it emphatically, raising her eyebrow as she continued, "And yes, today you look incredibly adorable, but you also are forever hot as hell. Don't let one dumb thing I said ruin our first Christmas Eve together. Please…"

She pouted my direction as I leaned against her cheek smiling from ear to ear, "Okay, fine. I'll take adorable…"

With a lone kiss left on my forehead, Jade quickly grabbed the sheet of paper out of my hand to read, "So what have we been tasked with today? Pumpkin cheesecake cookies?"

"Mmm-hmm. It's a family favorite, and while my mom does last minute shopping, she figured that it would be something good for us to do together."

"I'm sure she would be fine with us doing just about anything that kept us out of your bedroom…"

Opening the fridge, I collected the ingredients she left on the middle shelf, "That's part of it. She also mentioned feeling bad that we wouldn't be able to spend most of tomorrow together and wanted to make sure we had some time alone. You brought your gifts, right?"

Jade just smiled in return. Her grin let me know that she was hiding something, but I didn't want to pry. She had already mentioned Christmas being a hard day for her because of the amount of memories the holiday did bring back for her mother. It was a day filled with stories Julia only half remembered and the desire to flip through every old photo album that only brought up grief for Jade. Because for every memory she was able to remember or retain from the past was one that Jade assumed she would lose in the future. It was a constant trade-off that Jade never wanted to make.

"I did. Yours is in my purse, and the Secret Santa gift is in the car. You know that I would rather be here with you all-day tomorrow, right?" she asked, while setting aside all of the tools needed to beginning making the cheesecake center.

"Jade, you need to be with your family. We talked about this. It would be a good escape for you, but your mom wouldn't understand."

"No, I know that. We made our decision, and I'm going to stick with it. But if at any point tomorrow you feel sad that my arms aren't around you, or that you need a reprieve from the nauseating stories your cousin in college is bound to be spilling, just know that I wish I was here, too."

"So, you're coming over around dinner time then?" I asked, sticking out my hand for her to hold as I began trying to open the cream cheese with one hand.

"Yeah, Dad said that I could get away for a few hours. After hearing how excited your grandmother was to meet me, I knew I couldn't let her down. I'd be devastated." She pulled herself closer to me, trying to help with opening the cardboard box I was struggling with, "Vega, you know you can let go of my hand to get this done quicker?"

"Don't feel like it… Hold the box down for me though?"

Jade laughed at my stubbornness, bringing up the back of my hand to kiss as she continued staying as still as possible. "If you don't let go, this cookie process is going to take hours."

"Fine, fine." I huffed, as we slowly began working through each of the steps.

A little over an hour later, Jade and I finally finished the two dozen cookies requested by my mother and made our way over the couch to exchange gifts.

"I'm actually kind of impressed." I mused as I grabbed her small gift from under the tree. "I could've sworn that you would cover me in cookie batter or draw a sneaky line of flour down the middle of my face just to see me get flustered."

Jade flipped her hair, pulling a card from her purse, "What can I say? The past few months have made me mature."

I cackled, "Yeah, right. You're a mess."

"Honestly…" she spoke, reaching for my hand as she sat down, "I wanted to make sure we did a good job for your mom. All of these little tasks she gives me and us are just one of the many ways that I can show that I'm worth trusting. My appearance doesn't always make that clear, so any chance I have to show them that I respect you and them and their home… I'm going to take it."

"Okay, now you're the adorable one." I smiled, leaning in for a kiss. She sighed into our embrace, barely tracing her tongue against my bottom lip before ending the kiss with a brief peck. "I love you, too."

"Now, you did spend less than 100 dollars on this, right? You followed the rules?" she asked, pulling away and pointing to the gift in my hand.

I put a hand over my heart as if feigning shock, "Out of the two of us, you're asking _me_ if _I _followed the rules? I am the rule follower out of the two of us. Are we just completely disregarding history here? Am I being Punk'd?"

"Just making sure… Can I open yours first?" she smiled, holding out her hands for me to place the small box in them.

"Wait! Before you open it, I do have a card!" I turned on my side, leaning against the back of the couch and staring into her eyes.

"Okay, that's fine…" her eyes turned upwards in confusion as I didn't move, "Where is it?"

"Right here." I pointed up to my head. "Rest on the back of this for me." I ushered Jade to mimic my movements so that we were both looking at each other endearingly. "I literally searched all over this house last night for a decent card, but they were all trash. So I decided that I would wing it. I'm gonna record it though so that I can send the recording to you." I smiled, reaching for my phone to turn on the audio feature.

"A little presumptuous of you to think that I'm going to want to replay what you say to me forever." Her joke sent her into her knees as she laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I'm bad with intense emotion, remember? I can't wait to listen to it forever, Vega." She smiled with her eyes while grabbing my hands again. "Please, tell me everything."

I cleared my voice before pressing record, "One of the reasons I thought it would be so hard to get down everything I wanted to say in words into one little card is that you show me new reasons to love you every day. What good is a card that captures how I felt yesterday when I fell in love with you all over again this morning? But what I want to highlight this holiday season for sure is how you care about people. Not only me, but every person in your life. Even on days we aren't able to spend together, you always make sure to text me before you fall asleep at night. You care about the tiny, insignificant things more than giant ones because you want the little moments to add up to something great as well. I just feel so incredibly lucky to be able to learn and love by your side. You teach me how to put intention into everything I do. You build me and our relationship up every single day by just simply showing up. You are the living example of actions speaking louder than words. Because even though it's been hard for you to open up and show your deepest cuts, you are more than willing to put everything on the line to show how you feel. Jade, I knew I was falling in love with you the moment I saw you in the hallway after our first date. The moment you kissed my forehead and smirked, I was yours. And nearly four months later, I continue to fall more in love with you every day. I can't wait to spend our first Christmas together, our first New Years, our first… everything. Because you make every moment special. Just by being here. Just by being mine. I love you. Merry Christmas. Love, Vega."

Seconds after pressing stop, Jade's lips were back on mine, pressing me into the back of the couch with force. Her hand grasped the side of my face as she lightly sucked on my bottom lip, sending enough of a jolt through me that she quickly straddled my waist. Her left hand fell just below my chest as she pushed against my body, trying to find the ideal amount of pressure to place into her touch. After a soft groan escaped my mouth, she smiled into my instinctual response before gently kneading my breast through my sweater. My right hand found its way to her ass as I pushed her body closer against me. Our kisses urgent yet slow, alternating between gentle breaths exchanged and soft slips of tongue. Her right hand traced down to my throat, running her thumb across my collarbone as she began pulling away deeply out of breath.

"Feeling guilty about giving me shit about an audio message before you even heard it?" I asked, putting my hands over my head to try and come up for air.

"I'm an ass." She reassured, placing her lips just beneath my left ear. "Just the biggest jerk. Still love me?"

Her whispered voice made me want to keep going. The fact that we were in the middle of my living room. In my house. With my sister upstairs. All those factors were the least of my worries because in front of me was the woman who made my world go round.

She kissed my forehead one last time as she resituated herself next to me. "Whew." She exhaled, "Sorry. Couldn't keep it together there. I love being yours, by the way. Nothing makes me happier, Tori."

I spun to fully face her, "Open your gift, Jade." I leaned forward, propping my elbow on my knee as she unwrapped the small box. "I looked through your jewelry last week while you were showering and then decided on this." Opening the box, she smiled sweetly up at me before removing a emerald pendant on a gold chain. "A lot of the stuff you currently have is still from when you were younger, or is just one of the classic chokers you love. But I wanted to get you something for events like Christmas or your cousin's wedding next Spring."

"It's gorgeous." She lifted out the small circle and immediately unhooked it to be able to put it on, lifting her hair to turn for my assistance.

"And it's not too much, is it? I tried to go for something that would make a statement, but wouldn't affect the overall vibe you're going for here."

"I love it." She kissed me sweetly once more. "Very thoughtful."

"It matches your eyes just like I thought it would…"

I could stare at her all day. The way her hair shaped her face. Her eyes glimmered no matter the setting. Her frustrated smile brought me happiness beyond compare. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and immediately blushed, "What are you doing?"

"Am I not allowed to look at you anymore?"

"Shh…" she placed her hand on my knees as she passed over the card she had been holding, "For you."

The front had 'Victoria' written in cursive with a small smiley face in the middle of the 'o'. "Victoria?" I asked while opening the back with my pointer finger.

Wrapping her arm around my shoulder and bringing me into her chest, she spoke, "It felt right in the moment." Her card was hand-made, with small Christmas trees along the trim. In the middle were the words, "I HAD AN IDEA…"

I looked up at her from her shoulder, giving her a knowing glance, "What are you up to?"

"Just open it!" she squeezed my shoulder to prompt me forward. And on the inside were ten simple words: "RUN AWAY WITH ME (just for the weekend) Love, Jadey"

Leaning to my left to fully turn out of her arm, I gasped, "What are you talking about, babe? We can't run away?"

"Of course we can." She shrugged, "We leave tomorrow night."

I began looking around the room wildly, "Jade, what is going on?"

"Tomorrow night, we're driving back to Coronado. I convinced my dad to let us "rent out" one of our properties to the two of us for the weekend. Merry Christmas."

"And my parents? And your parents?"

"They already agreed. I've been talking to them about it for weeks. Another reason that I've been on my a-game at your home. I needed them to know I'm worth trusting pretty damn quick."

"I thought you said earlier that your Dad only approved you being away from your family tomorrow for a few hours?"

"I may have stretched the truth a bit… By a few hours, he meant more like 72."

"Three days? We're going for three days?"

Jade laughed wrapping me back up in her arms, "Yes, sweetheart. It's all already been settled. All I need for you to do is to be packed by the time I come over for dinner tomorrow."

"That is not a gift worth less than $100." I draped my arm around her waist, kissing her lightly on the neck.

"Yeah it is; we own the house. It's free."

"Seems like a loophole."

"It is a loophole! You didn't specify, Vega! Do you not want to go?"

"No, no. I want to go. I want to spend all the time in the world with you. Your gift just royally trumps mine."

"Don't say that. My gift only lasts 3 days; yours is forever."

* * *

As the doorbell rang around 5:30 the next day, I sprinted from the backyard to the front door, swinging it open to find an incredibly nervous Jade on the other side. She smiled endearingly, but immediately pulled me outside onto the front porch.

"Merry Christmas…" she smiled, wrapping me in a hug. I could feel her lightly shaking beneath me.

"Merry Christmas. What's wrong? Are you okay?"

She shook out her shoulders, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. It's just… how many people are in there again?"

"About 12. It's my mom's brother and sister, their kids, and Mimi. Are you nervous?"

"Incredibly." She laughed, hearing the quiver in her own voice. "I look alright, don't I?"

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I brought Jade into my chest, "You have absolutely nothing to worry about, Jade. My parents already love you, so there are three people on your side before you put one foot through the door. Trina is day to day so don't worry about her. Mimi should be your only care in the world, sweetheart, and she is so excited to meet you. She's been talking about you all day. And you look perfect. Look at me?" she pulled her eyes from her chest up to my own, "I can't wait to spend the weekend with you. Remember that I love you and beyond that, no one else in that room matters. Okay?"

"Okay…" she exhaled, wrapping both of her hands around my left hand as I opened the door.

Any worries Jade had on that front porch visibly dissipated as my grandmother wrapped her in a hug. Despite being just over 5 feet tall, Mimi was a commanding woman who insisted on hugs from first meetings. She held Jade at the forearm as she stepped back.

"Now, let me take a good look at you." She smiled into Jade's endearing eyes. "You know, I had a nose piercing back in the day, love. And let me tell you, I've never regretted it."

"Mimi…" I ushered, as Jade turned to interrupt.

"No, I'm loving this. Mimi, it's good to finally meet you. Tori has told me so many good things about you."

My grandmother walked to Jade's other side as they began moving toward the chair she always sat in during family gatherings, "I still remember - oh was it almost ten years ago, Tori – when you told me you liked girls?"

"Mimi, what are we doing?" I asked, turning my body, trying to stop the conversation altogether.

"She talks for weeks about us meeting and then acts surprised when we start having a conversation?" Mimi whispered to Jade, who began giggling.

"She's a handful for sure, Mimi. Now, where were we?" Jade kissed my temple as they sat down. I followed slowly, still unsure of the dynamic duo I had created.

"Well, she has yet to answer my last question…"

"Yes, I would've been six or seven." I fidgeted with my hands not even remembering the conversation she was recalling.

"Great, great." She held Jade's hands with hers between them, "I still remember all those years ago when she said that she couldn't want to marry a girl someday. Just a little thing so full of confidence. And she said it as though it was a given. When she called me a few weeks ago to tell me that you were going to be a Christmas, I got so excited because since that day I have dreamt of the kind of woman she envisioned being with. And here you are…"

"Here I am." Jade smiled my direction as Mimi continued.

"And she's beautiful, Tori. Really stunning."

"Thank you, Mimi."

"You treat her well?"

"Is that a question?" Jade asked as my grandmother nodded in return, "Yes, ma'am, I would like to think so. Tori, what do you think?"

Mimi extended her hand to stop me from speaking, "No, that answers the question."

"It does?" I glanced back and forth between them.

"How Jade believes that she treats you is incredibly important, but her asking you told me everything I needed to know. You should always be trying to be better in any relationship. Jade, your question shows that you're not trying to be perfect. You're willing to learn and improve. And even though you're sure of yourself, it's great to see that Tori's opinion matters just as much as yours."

"Why are you giving my girlfriend tests, Mimi?"

"She's the first one you've brought to the holidays, sweet pea! What am I supposed to do, just let her meet the whole family all willy nilly?" I sighed across from her. "And I'm not sure why you're so concerned. She's passing them with flying colors. Aren't you, Jade?"

"To be honest, I'm super confused right now."

She tapped the top of Jade's hand, "That's okay, dear. Do you love her?"

"Well, that's enough for me." I stood, kissing the top of Jade's head before stepping back, "I'll be outside when you're finished, babe."

"Sounds good." She replied, before turning back to Mimi, talking loud enough so I could hear her, "Yes, ma'am. I love her very much."

About 15 minutes later, Jade walked outside with Mimi on her arm. I glowed watching them interact as Jade brought her over to chair before walking around to sit on the arm of mine. I wrapped my arm around her waist as she looked down at me.

"How'd it go?"

"Nothing to worry about. She even introduced me to the cousins who were less than enthused, but said hello nonetheless." She bent down to kiss me. I loved seeing her become more confident as the afternoon went on. As she leaned back up, she whispered, "We should probably get going in the next 30 minutes or so, so that we can get to Coronado in time to wake up rested for tomorrow."

"Sounds perfect. I have everything ready to go whenever you are."

My eyes hovered across the scene in front of me as Jade casually began speaking to my dad without prompting. She subconsciously reached for my hand as he brought up going out of town this weekend, swirling her thumb on the inside of my palm. She laughed at his jokes and effortlessly told stories about her family in return without qualm. I couldn't help but stare enamored at her presence. She astounded me in her ability to be in the moment.

I lost track of time following her enchanting nature. It wasn't until she brushed a strand of my hair back behind my ear that I snapped back into reality to meet her eyes. We collected our things and some snacks for the road, before saying goodbye and heading to the car. Jade opened my door with a broad smile across her lips.

And though I had been charmed less than 10 minutes earlier, she sighed getting into the driver's seat, "Whew. I can breathe again."

"Breathe again? You did great."

"Really?" she smirked, reaching for my hand.

I laughed, "Jade, Mimi spoke to you alone for nearly half an hour. My dad was cracking jokes with you. You held your own with everyone in that room. And you're trying to tell me that you weren't able to breathe?"

She closed her eyes against the seat, "Yeah, Vega. I'm happy that it came off positively, but I felt so tense inside. I just… I wanted to make you proud."

"Proud?" I leaned into the center console, resting my head in my hand, "You make me proud without even trying. I am proud of you simply by being yours."

"I know." Her eyes stayed closed as she evened her breaths back out, "I was only comfortable when I was next to you." She barely turned her head to make eye contact, "You keep me calm."

I kissed the inside of her wrist before buckling my seat belt as we started pulling away from my home, "Trust me, baby. You did amazing. Ready to be completely calm for the next three days?"

"So ready…" she whispered, "I love you, too."

* * *

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little bit of fluff to brighten your end of July! Because I can't guarantee a posting schedule, feel free to add this onto the stories you follow so that you can keep track of it along your way! **

**If you would like stories to tide you over in the meantime, please feel free to go to page! My most recently finished story _Needs, Wants, Desires and Dreams_ is one of my favorite things I've ever written and is nearly 150,000 words long. Yipes. Anyways, that's sure to hold you over for a little bit! I am in the middle of writing a story called _Remember Me, _as well that is a companion piece/sequel to NWDD. Hope you check them out!**

**Thanks again for reading and see you next time! **

**Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along. **

**\- secretpen28**


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